I Amsterdam

I have lived in Amsterdam for about 3 weeks total now. I think it is such a lovely city. I was itching to live somewhere like Europe. Since getting back from NYC this Summer, I starting getting the "Gotta Get Out of Utah" fever and noticed more and more the things I really dislike about American culture. I think it also has to do with getting ready to have a baby and thinking more about the culture I will be trying to raise my child in. I love the freedoms and hard work that are at the basis of America, but I'm sure you can identify many of the negative mentalities and habits Americans have that I am talking about. Anyway, I have loved being exposed to more perspectives that I learn about from studying a different culture. I wanted to share a bit of what our lives have been like here.

Grocery Shopping and Food

I go to the store about every 3 days and I get fresh bread every other day.  Bread and cheese are my favorite food and so if I can find a place that is within walking distance and sells good bread then why not go as often as possible? I have finally chosen a cheese to buy every time: Gouda. This country made it and I will eat all of it. The Dutch do not mess around when it comes to cheeses.

I have found the joy of outdoor markets here in Europe. They are like Farmer's markets but they have stands such as baked breads, cheeses, sea food, produce, meats, nuts, and many specialty food items (all in one place). You can also find clothing booths, jewelry, and trinkets.They also sell fresh goodies like stroopwafels, fries, and poffertjes. Poffertjes are like unto small pancakes and taste similarly to funnel cake in my opinion.

Fry stands are popular. We have come to love dipping our fries in mayonnaise or mustard. Ketchup is lame. The Belgians and Dutch take their fry dipping sauces seriously.

Stroopwafels are little waffle cookies with caramel syrup in the middle. You put them over a steaming hot beverage and let the syrup get all gooey before eating them. They are delicious. These are Andrew's favorite treat.

A common breakfast item is bread with butter and chocolate sprinkles, called Hagelslag. It tastes exactly how you imagine.

                                       

Food comes in smaller portions in Europe. We are so impressed by it and it helps us not over eat. I have to go to the store so often because it is expected that I would buy things more often to get fresher food. The milk comes in liters, not gallons, and if I buy sandwich meat it comes in maybe 6 slices. The bread does not have preservatives and that goes for many of the other foods as well. I love it. I would love it a little bit more if I didn't have to walk 15 minutes there and carry my heavy bags. You are encouraged to bring your own bags or you will have to buy them for a small price. Since so many people bike around the city, they just stop by the store and grab 5 things on a regular basis. Maybe you are used to going to the grocery store 3 times a week, or even daily, but I am not and I find it to be a refreshing perspective. It makes meal planning easier since I can usually just go down to the store if I need something that night. I also don't feel like going to the grocery store has to be 2 hours (yes I am horrible at making decisions when pregnant and there are way too many options) out of my day and I have to walk a total of a mile because the store is so huge. Earlier in my pregnancy I dreaded grocery shopping day. I was so tired and didn't want to really cook so I was sometimes drawn to the frozen foods section which is just never a healthy choice in America. 

Sometimes grocery shopping can be frustrating because I do not read Dutch. I have to use pictures, cognates, or just guess. Sometimes things are also in French but if they are in French then they are usually also in English. I am getting better at grocery store vocabulary though. Andrew tried buying pickles and after an hour of deliberating between two choices, he came home with the gross sour ones. He also bought some eggs because they were purple and then when he went to crack them he realized they were hard boiled. A lady in the store explained that the purple ones are always hard boiled. We thought it was Easter. I have learned to ask people and I have found so far that the people here are friendly and speak English very well. They start learning English in Elementary School and I am impressed by how extensive their vocabulary is. 

Window Shopping

The other day we went window shopping. Europe does a very good job of drawing you into their store with wonderful window displays. I bought some bright yellow galoshes, which I have been looking for for some time now. Andrew found a glasses store that sells really well designed and unique glasses, but it is way too expensive. We made a decision that we only buy things here that we have been needing or wanting or something that you wouldn't find anywhere else.

Bikes

This is the bike capital of the world and I have been converted to their ways. Bikes are just as respected on the road as cars and in the city a bike goes just as fast so it ends up being just as efficient. Andrew and I are planning on selling our car when we leave Provo and invest in bikes. It saves money, is more environmentally friendly, and is good exercise.

The bikes here are simple one gear bikes like this one

Edenspiekermann gave Andrew a bike to use while he is here. You can add baskets on the front and bags that hang over the back so that you can carry bags or groceries. You can also get bikes that make room for baby seats. If you have a lot of children you can buy these box bikes that carry tons of kids and bags.

No one wears helmets here. Are helmets unnecessary?

Church

It takes about an hour to get to church. We have to walk 20 minutes to get to Centraal Station, sometimes wait for the tram, then ride the tram for another 20 minutes, and walk a bit to the church.         You arrive at this well known logo:

It is a small ward that is ethnically diverse, but mostly Dutch. I love to see that the church is true in any country or language. We always sing out of the Dutch hymnbook (even though the English one is available) because that is one of the only times I can hear the language spoken and read it at the same time. I am picking up on a lot of site words (words that are used often) but I am having a bit of trouble with the vowel sounds. I am excited about the upcoming temple trip to The Hague, which is only a 45 minute drive.

During church we have these cool translator head sets for Relief Society.

The translator translates in a booth in the back of the room. There is an English Sunday School and then Sacrament Meeting is translated for us again. Many people here speak English very well though. The translators are missionaries. I've never tried translating a sacrament meeting before but it is secretly one of my goals to translate from French to English for visitors. I would need some practice for sure. It is not an easy task to listen, translate, and talk at the same time. I bet it helps for people to write down their talk and give a copy to the translator.

I have made some English speaking friends at church. I have spent some time with my new friend Stephanie Lee and her son, Andy. Her husband is working here for 6 months and then they will return to Texas. She has been so kind to make me feel better acquainted with the city/culture and we keep each other company while our husbands are at work. We really enjoy the Lees.

Midwife

I finally had to register in person with a midwife practice after some waiting after online registrations and e-mails. Strangely, they assign you a time through a letter sent in the mail. That is how the medical system is here, I guess. So it is taking some time to get seen. I am very interested to see the midwife practices first hand in the country that leads the world in effective midwifery and natural births. I am coming back to the U.S. five weeks before my guess date so I do not plan on birthing here.

Sites

Amsterdam is built up on low land and canals flow through every twist and turn. It is absolutely unlike anything you have seen in the U.S. The city is pretty small. I can walk from east to west (of the outer city) in an hour. Here are some pictures taken around the city.

This is the "I amsterdam" city campaign structure. I believe it moves around to different spots. This is in Dam Square and there is an old palace in the background.

Andrew hanging out in the "d" of Amsterdam. This structure is especially beautiful to a typophile.

During December and January, the city does a festival of lights. This is one lit up structure that we were inside of.

This is a floating net of color over the canal.

 We have yet to go in the countryside where there are plenty of these, but you can see windmills in random places in the city.

This is where we saw Les Misérables. The Tuschinski theater is an Art Deco cinema theater from the 20's that is just spectacular inside. 

There are balconies and a stage in the main hall that we saw it in.

This is the lobby

After Art Nouveau, Art Deco is my second favorite art movement. I love having a husband who appreciates the shapes and colors that create beautiful architecture.

Amsterdam is miles and miles of buildings, boats,  and canals like these.

The Tram

The tram is the subway but it is all above ground (remember that the land is low-lying). You put a certain amount of money on a card and swipe when you get on and off. The length of your ride decides the amount you pay. It is not just a one time ride fee like in NYC or Paris. I think it is a smart system, but if you don't check-out then I think you lose all the money on your card because the tram thinks you are still riding. I'm not sure though.

Where we live

We live where the red "A" is at the top of the map.

We reside in Westerdok, which is in the west, along the River Ij, and surrounded by docks. I believe it is a newer part of the city, meaning not built in the 16th century. We live right on the water and sometimes you can see huge cruise ships sailing in on the river, which would be to the left of the picture below. This is a gorgeous car that was parked right outside our apartment when we walked out one day.
                                       

                                       

We live in the building that connects to Andrew's work building. No commute to work. 

The blue door is the apartment building entrance and Andrew's work building is the one with all of the windows. The building manager stores all of his things in the apartment building and lives across a shared hall with us. We share the kitchen and bathroom with another person. She is also an intern in the work building. There is no living room. There is a super tiny washing machine and you hang your clothes to dry (something I will definitely be doing in my future home). Our bedroom is about 8 ft by 8ft. There is enough room for a twin bed (which we share), a desk, a small closet, and a dresser.

You can see the green bed sheet where the bed is on the left.

It is definitely a small space for two, but totally manageable. It would not work out too well with a baby. We get to cuddle up and keep each other warm during this Winter season. Honestly, it is fun not having a lot of space, money, or things. All we need is each other.

A Dutch New Years Eve

New Years Eve

New Years Eve was fun because we were invited to a coworkers home. I finally got to talk to and get to know the Dutch. Everyone was extremely kind and inviting. They were great conversationalists and I loved being able to ask them questions about their culture and experiences. They had a traditional New Years Eve treat called Oliebollen (oil balls in English), which is a fried dough ball with raisins in it. It was delicious.

 We played the "Chair Dance" game, which Andrew and I thought sounded a bit too grown up for the children, but ended up being "Musical Chairs". We also tried to chime in on "Charades" in Dutch. We rang in the New Year with fireworks. The four days prior to New Years, we constantly heard fireworks. We thought it was the beginning of a possible civil war. The fireworks were set off by the citizens on every street. They go off for hours. The hosts were kind enough to offer us sparkling juices while everyone, even the children, sipped Champagne. It was quite loud and very festive. Everyone was in the streets and our group kissed each person individually 3 times on the cheeks while wishing each other a Happy New Year. Apparently the men don't really do the kissing cheeks thing to each other but Andrew didn't know. The men were nice enough to go along with him though.

Husband/Wife/Partner

We noticed that many of the couples there at the party had children together but called the other person their partner. It is common to never get married in Europe but rather live like you are and have children together, keeping separate last names of course. They didn't wear marriage rings. It is common to live that way all over Europe and is becoming more and more common in the U.S. nowadays, all the paperwork you fill out, especially for maternity related stuff (yes, even in utah), asks for your partner's name. This is more evidence that the world is tearing down the traditional, family unit. Andrew's co-workers kept calling me his girlfriend before I came over here even though he called me his wife. We wonder what little 13 year olds call their puppy love first kiss-type relationships. Since Andrew is much younger than the average married person here, they are surprised that he is married and having a baby at 26.

Andrew and I loved telling people about how in our Mormon culture it is pretty common to see people meet, date for 2 months, get engaged, and married 3 months later, only to find out that they are pregnant within the first 6 months of marriage. That would take a European, on average, maybe 7 years instead of 1. We get to tell people about why we are married young, and what things are important to us. We talked about how if you have similar religious beliefs it helps a lot of views on life fall into place. You can know through spiritual confirmation that this person is someone you should marry. We also reminded them that we do not engage in sexual intercourse before marriage so that urge hurries things along for some couples. We also explained that having a family is one of the major reasons we decide to get married so why wait too long to get that family started. It so fun to me to learn a new perspective of looking at things and I love sharing those with others as well.

Tolerance and Agency

Legal Prostitution and Drugs

The Dutch have a very tolerant mindset so our mormon perspective on marriage was openly received at the party. That being said, yes, prostitution and many drugs are legal here, and yes I usually smell a whiff of marijuana everyday on the streets. If you don't go by the Red Light District then you don't really see the prostitution presence. We stumbled upon it and were offered a "Live Porno Show". We immediately turned down the nearest street. Making morally bad things legal is not about giving your stamp of approval on the acts but more about keeping these things in the publics eye (instead of underground trafficking and secrets that can lead to a demand because it is taboo) to be understood instead of causing vicious cycles of arrests, jail, and desperate acts so as not to get caught. There are tons of advocates for these legalizations and you can read their arguments in more detail.

I am not a government official and I don't get to decide laws that affect society in this way. If that was my job, those would be hard decisions to make based on what is best for society. I do however have the opportunity to raise my children in a home that I will make a sanctuary from this world of declining morals. I get to teach my children to decipher between truth and error and to govern themselves the best they can so that they can find true happiness. That is my job as a mother and I will be taking that very seriously. I think it strengthens my testimony of the commandments of God, when I see the negative effects that prostitution and drugs have on the world. It would be better if they did not exist, but I can understand the glory of light better when I have seen darkness. I hope my children are exposed to those dark things in some small amount so that they ask themselves if what they believe is true, and find out on their own after hearing the wise counsel of their parents.

I love agency. As a Mormon, the idea that keeping my children sheltered from the world (this is how many parents raise their children in Utah Valley) is not the approach I want to take when it comes to gaining a testimony. I have talked to many parents in Utah who have told me that raising a child in Europe or outside Utah would just be too hard. To have so many evil influences and have a small community of church members to draw from, would cause their children to fall away from the Gospel. That mentality is in a way showing your lack of confidence or belief in your child's agency. I told them that even though my children could easily be influenced by their environment outside the home, my guidance as a parent has a more profound influence on my children.

One parent said they liked having the constant church influence on their kids. That included the people they associate with (which is your whole neighborhood) and they liked attending church with strong members (which could be interpreted as people who seem to have perfect lives and don't sin or struggle). I personally like attending church where the Gospel is alive and working to change and shape people. It should be a place where you share the hard things you are dealing with and ask for people to pray for you or help you. Missionary work is in effect everywhere you turn and you are constantly given opportunities to bear your testimony. That is reality and that is how the church is outside of Utah. Sadly, people are too afraid to leave Utah because it means they might raise their children in a city of sin. * Getting off my Utah Church Culture soapbox*. That parent also knew that going to the LDS school I taught at also takes care of the teaching responsibilities they had. Yes, that reinforcement is good, but it is not as reliable as what comes from our mouths as parents, the source of truth that is always there for our confused children. Overall to me, it sounded a bit like lazy parenting because that parent didn't want them to be challenged by the influence of the world since that meant taking on a more active role.

I was talking to my students about the Family: A Proclamation to the World and we talked about how marriage is ordained of God and is made to be between a man and a woman. One of my middle schoolers shouted out that homosexuals are bad. I remember feeling so frustrated with the fact that this child is being taught by someone that the person is bad and not the sin they are committing. I bet he was not the only LDS child in that school who was not being taught the difference and therefore will continue to perpetuate the thought that Mormons hate gay people. I did a quick correction of his comment and moved on.

During the election, there were many instances where I saw so much dislike for Obama around school- aged children. In discussing the 12th Article of Faith about honoring your leaders, I asked the Primary children about what important event happened in America that week. None of the little kids knew, but when I mentioned Obama being re-elected as our president, a little boy of maybe 5 said Obama's name in a disgusted way and pointed his thumb downwards. According to what was shared, no one in that room came away from the election remembering that citizens got to have a voice and vote, but rather that the liberal candidate who is still leading our country, is bad. I was so glad that the Church issued a statement that said it is our duty to pray for and support Obama and his office, and I definitely told the kids that. Utah is a conservative state indeed, but I fear too many LDS parents are not taking the great opportunity that elections bring. They get to teach their children that they, individually, can research the issues and decide who would best represent them as president. It is okay that you have a different opinion than your parents. That means that you can think for yourself. Indoctrinating without allowing the child to discover for himself is a kind of mindset that drives me crazy when it comes to some LDS parents. By the way, I was a Romney supporter.

You gain a testimony after a trial of your faith. I can teach my child that drinking alcohol is bad, but they will not truly know if they believe it, until they actually decline an offer to drink. I saw instances like that happen to me over and over growing up in Florida. I remember being a bit tempted since I was curious. Those offers actually solidified my belief that I didn't want it because I felt uninterested after a while. Teenagers want to be different, and for me, being Mormon was different enough. My husband grew up in Provo surrounded by tons of members of the church and turned out just as strong in his devotion to the Gospel (he might have had a bit of help from the hoods of Philly where he served his mission). His testimony wasn't really challenged like mine was, until his mission. Of course it is possible to grow up in Utah and be an awesome member of the church. Plenty of my friends have also done it. All too often, people, my husband not included, tend to be sheltered and led to believe that Utah is the only place you can live if you really want to be a Mormon. Many times Andrew has told people at BYU that he was raised in Provo, and a lot of times people said they thought he was from California. Since my husband is an artist or has style and is tan, he just couldn't have grown up in Utah. What does that tell you about the perception of being raised in this community?

 Sure, every child will be different and a parent will possibly need to evaluate the extent of the effect a city environment has on the child. We just prefer to raise our children in a place and with people that foster an open mind. We want to discuss how to decipher between nudity as beautiful art that is appreciating the beauty that God created, versus nudity as a way to exploit that beauty to get attention and love. Then we get to discuss how everyone does have agency to choose how to use their bodies. We can help others by respecting their decisions and trying to teach them about God's plan for them.

Ok, but now I'm really gonna get off my Utah Church Culture soapbox.

I could go on and on about what kind of parent I want to be and I am so excited to teach our children. Thankfully, I have a husband who agrees with me on how we want to educate them. I love seeing children discover, experience things, learn, and then use what they know. It is an incredibly cool process and I am only a facilitator. I have yet to see my child make a bad decision and suffer, so I understand that it will possibly be harder to deal with than I think. I just believe so strongly that we have to let our children learn from experience and agency after having taught them truth, and then be there through the aftermath to show them that we still love them and so does God. We need to be there as a comfort and a listening ear. In the end they will feel true individual remorse (not remorse because my parents were mad at me), and they will come to feel the real power of the atonement of Jesus Christ.  It is so beautiful.

My thoughts on illegal activity randomly led to sharing my feelings about agency and parenting, but I have had many conversations like this with my friends lately and wanted to voice my opinion. I'm glad that everyone is entitled to one.

Paris, je t'aime

Let's just start off by saying that being reunited with Andrew was wonderful. We had two days in Amsterdam before we left for Paris. This shot captures the family.

We had a fun time on the Thalys train that left from Amsterdam Centraal train station to Paris Gare Nord. Andrew had never been on a train before and we both agreed that they are quite comfortable and efficient. 

I studied abroad for 2 months in Paris during the Summer of 2007. I was so excited to get to go back and use everything I had learned in the past 7 years of my French learning and teaching. This was a culmination of my craft in a way. What other reason to learn a language and culture than to go and experience it first hand? I also studied teaching, but my love for the language and culture is actually the driving force behind it all.  My triumph came when I received feedback from 3 or 4 french natives that my French was very good and they weren't even positive if I was American. Bam! That's all I wanted to hear. Compliments like that are not just handed out by the French. That gave me confidence that I really can raise a bilingual child.

This trip was perfect. I got 4 days with my husband and we were able to go and do whatever we wanted in my favorite city. I was so excited to show him why I love it. He fell in love with it too. He especially loved how art-centric the city is. You can just find an art exhibit on the side of the street. There is lots of nice street art, museums, art stores, art schools, beautiful architecture, and an overall appreciation for the way things look and are presented.

Let's just show some of the food we consumed.

Crême Brulée

a Baguette sandwich

a Croque Madame (open faced grilled cheese, ham, and egg sandwich)

Angelina's hot chocolate is the best and thickest hot chocolate you will ever drink. Scrumptious.

Some other photos from our trip: We used the trusty metro system 

and I had a more detailed map on me

The first site we actually came across was this famous cabaret. We walked to our hotel from the train station and it was up the street a ways from the Moulin Rouge.

We visited Place de la Concorde but we didn't ride the Ferris. When I was there, there was a Ferris wheel that was only 2 Euros to ride. This one was 10 euros and the line was horribly long. I was surprised at how busy with tourists the city was during Christmas.

We saw superb French parking at its best.

We found lots of street art but this was my favorite.

I have this fascination with the shutters here and how they actually use them and the windows and trellises are just so gorgeous.

We visited Place du Tertre (the artist square) in Montmartre (where our hotel was) many times. Andrew loved watching the portrait artists.

He was inspired to draw me and so we sat on the ground and joined the artists. 

We obviously visited the Eiffel Tower and took this picture from Trocadero. Andrew was surprised by the color of the tower, he thought it was darker or blacker for some reason. Surprisingly, that stop was not the most interesting part of the visit.

We loved the little things that we stumbled upon in between what our plans were. Many times the experiences we had from being immersed in the culture were what brought us the most pleasure. Whether it was the public space toilettes, or having hope for the future when we saw a sexy older European man dressed well, or taking in some music from the metro performers.

I loved the Christmas decorations up in Place du Tertre mixed with the  cafe lights and the cobblestone streets (what were we ever thinking when we decided that asphalt was a better way to pave the roads?). We saw this on our way to Sacré Cœur, that huge white basilica that sits on the hills of Montmartre. 

We decided to go there and attend a Midnight Mass. I have never attended a Catholic mass so I was excited. They played organ music for an hour and then there were 2 hours of singing scriptures to melody-less songs that sounded a bit like they were made up on the spot. There was a short sermon by the bishop? and then lots more reading and standing and sitting down. The standing and sitting down thing got really old and there were times when we read in Latin and that was hard. I liked when we sang Silent Night and Angels We Have Heard On High. We left at 1:15 a.m. when they were inviting the baptized to come forward and partake of Communion. There were still a good 30 minutes left probably. This was our program that we read from and followed.

We had crêpes for dinner and bought little Bûches de Noël which are cakes decorated to look like yule logs, a traditional dessert for Le Réveillon Christmas Eve dinner. These have little saws in them to cut the log.

We visited my favorite park, Luxembourg Gardens, which has this beautiful grotto that we spent some time at.

This is Andrew. He is cute.

This is the Palace of Luxembourg

We stopped to watch the old guys playing Pétanque. They were really good.

We went to the edge of the Seine

One of the first things we did was take a boat ride along the Seine to get a look at all of the lovely sites along the center of the city. I love this picture I snapped because it can be a bit confusing to people at first. There is more than one Statue of Liberty in the world. Ours happens to be the final product and biggest.

On the boat ride

It rained one day so I was forced to put on my head covering so I didn't get too wet. Paris is beautiful in the rain but winter rain is not as exciting.

There are so many statues in the parks and streets of Paris. This is one funny site we found.

Andrew liked all of the beautiful mirrors in the restaurant bathroom.

We obviously went to the Louvre

I told Andrew he had to get a shot of my belly so we could remember how big I was during the trip. It was probably the perfect timing because I am not too big and not sick.

We found these fantastic shutters and I had to get a picture in front of them.

This fancy, old European car came down the vine-covered, cobblestone street we were walking up.

A shot down a street

Inside the metro

A decoration on the wall of a building

We checked out the multi-level shopping center of Galleries Lafayette and this is the dome at the center.

We went looking for childrens' books in the Galleries Lafayette shopping center and found some well illustrated ones. We realized that we are entering a new world where we have to own good looking kid accessories. Being an artist is a gift and a curse. Every book, clothing item, or accessory with typography will be chosen based on good graphic design and illustration, etc. We had to compromise since I wanted a book that had awesome educational functions but was not Andrew's favorite when it came to aesthetics. 

We bought some books for Colin. One book is about shapes and was the most pleasing to Andrew's eyes. The others were an encyclopedia, a bilingual vocabulary/picture book, and a book with nursery rhymes, gestures, and a cd. I am so glad that I have this foundational library for teaching him French.

We also bought him a onesie that says "Aussi irrésistible que Papa" (as irresistible as Daddy). We left having spent no money on presents for ourselves and a lot on our baby. We then realized that this will probably become a new spending trend we will need to get used to.

We also visited my favorite building, the Opéra Garnier which was right down the street.

My favorite artistic movement is Art Nouveau. This is a random house door I found in Montmartre. 

We went to the Musée d'Orsay and saw lots of Art Nouveau furniture on display as well.

Andrew loves their logo. I keep telling him that maybe a French graphic design company did it so that we have hope for finding a good company in Paris that he could work for. 

One of the most wonderful surprises was when we visited Notre Dame on Christmas Eve. The Organ played with a choir and it was a beautiful Christmas symphony. The organ was so loud and the choir voices echoed through the grand hall.

We also visited the church building that we had classes in when I was a student there. It is in a beautiful courtyard of an old building right across from the famous Pompidou Center of Modern Art. Since I had been there, the church has added a small visitors center at the entrance to the courtyard. 

Our trip was the perfect amount of time and such a relaxing experience with my husband. I loved being able to speak French and see the beauty that this historical city has to offer.