Acting On Conference

Wednesday April 14- Tax deadlines kinda snuck up on us new adults. How can the government expect us to do something that no one has ever taught us how to do. If a whole profession was invented to do taxes then we darn well should not be required to participate in this. Poop on them.

Last week we watched "La Vita E Bella" and the little boy in it was so adorable. I had an overwhelming urge to make a baby right then and my husband was grateful. He will remember that this is what happens when he shows me movies with adorable kid main characters. Saturday night I hung out with Mer and heard more about her dramatic life. She needs to stop kissing boys and wait for real love. Not my place but still. We watched the newest Madea movie with Andrew and loved it. Sunday was interesting because our ward got smaller and we meet at 2:30 pm. We can take our time to get ready but it is already dinner time when we get home. I felt like everyone was more friendly, happier, and willing to make friends now that most of the people with babies are out and getting to know people is more manageable. We have a new bishop and his wife is pretty entertaining. Spring has come upon us and life is sunnier and more cheerful! I rented "Where The Wild Things Are" and we watched it. Andrew's new saying is "Imagination is an endangered species." He is sad that we cannot all be like we were when we were kids. He even started writing a creative story about it. It's tender. We received our new MacBook and Andrew is not addicted, he just NEEDS it. He redid a couple of songs on Garageband and they sound awesome. Actually, it reminds me a lot of the beginning of our relationship when he would do that a lot. He is so talented.

I was proud of myself for recently acting on a prompting I received during Conference, to tell a friend that by not being active in church she was missing out on blessings that God wants to give her. I called Brit Kanter and had a good discussion that ended up with my testimony. I told her that God is always there for her and is the answer to her confusion about what to do in life. There is only so far we can go until we need some extra help from Him. She really appreciated it even though it is awkward to voice a strong opinion to someone who does not feel quite the same. I did not care though because the gospel is too important to let it go untold because of fear. I don't think I would have been as bold a couple of years ago. Maybe because I relied too much on keeping friends. Now I have Andrew and I do not fear being rejected by friends. I think reading Andrew's mission e-mails influenced me to act (plus Conference). It made me happy to share my testimony with someone I love.

Easter/Birthday/ Conference Weekend with Family

Friday April 9- My birthday was so great. Andrew wrapped a pretty orange bracelet as the present at the end of my bed. Then he welcomed me to my real birthday as he tore down the sheet that hid all of my real presents. He had lots of new spring clothing displayed ready for me to do a fashion show. We played my life size Barbie and I tried on the shirts, shoes, necklaces, and skirts. It was so cool to have a husband to wake up to on my first married birthday, 22! We exchanged some shirts and shopped more that night. We got our wedding photos up in a nice collage with other photos so that the apt was all done up how we wanted when my parents came. They stayed for about 4 days during Conference weekend. I took mom to a crepe party at Jes's (who is now engaged to Kirby!) My parents and I had a good conversation about what I am studying and I liked showing them what I am learning. We showed them the apt and had a talk about what Andrew wants to do for a career. It is a lot of pressure to find the right job that uses your talents, you enjoy, and can earn enough money for the lifestyle you want. Andrew is trying to decide between Graphic Design and Pyschologist. I am not attracted to the graduate work with the latter and when you get down to it, art is what Andrew loves and is really talented at. If only God would tell us, but it looks like he has to work a bit harder for the answer. If I had to support a family, I don't think teaching would cut it. We celebrated my birthday at Pirate Island. The kids played at the arcade and my family got to see the cool place Andrew works at. We swam at the hot tub of the hotel with Josh's family and Andrew threw the kids around in the pool. We watched every session of Conference and all attended the Saturday afternoon one where Meredith sang with her choir. I wore bright Easter colors from my new wardrobe. The boys stayed for priesthood session while we had Vivi's bridal shower at CPK. I saw Katherine for a bit. We had an Easter egg hunt in Debbie's backyard and the Easter Bunny left some money in the eggs. Woohoo! We played Balderdash that evening and it was nice to be around family even thought there were some annoying parts. It was wonderful that Mom organized all of this stuff.

Running Moab

Sunday March 28- Last Friday Andrew's family and I set off on an adventure to Moab. We drove altogether in the van and discussed Q-Tip hairstyles and various other topics that got people involved and laughing. It was enjoyable to finally eat out and sleep at Debbie's friends home. We slept in a nice camper without heat. We registered the night before and Erin acted like Jenny so that I could take her place since she moved to Oregon. We got everything in place like getting the chip attached to our shoe. We set off the next morning wearing our Beck Family Run t-shirts that Erin and Andrew designed. The buses took us up the canyon and Debbie, Nicole and I mostly walked the 5 miles back. We made it in 1 hour and 15 minutes. There was good food and picture taking while we waited for the half marathoners to arrive. They arrived after 2 hours and 23 minutes of running. We al felt so accomplished but I wish I could have at least broken a sweat. I liked being with a family that was not my original family and see everyone's personalities and the dynamics.

We went to Grandma and Daddo's for dinner and we brought yummy grits. Andrew finished his training and we skated at the ward activity and dressed 80s. Wednesday I had my OPI with Mme. Thompson and was told that I am at an Advanced Low Plus level. Two years ago I was Adv. Low. She said I mostly spoke at an Adv. Medium level but had trouble talking about abstract things that I already talk about in a choppy confusing way in english. I do not do politics or current events, yet I have to be able to talk about them in French? It was very frustrating that the things I can't even talk about in english were what was keeping me from moving up. Anyway, Andrew and I watched Pirates of the Caribbean, spray painted some new home decor and made a yummy dinner from scratch. We went to the Holi Festival with Mer and ate dinner and ice cream with her. It was really fun and colorful!

The Domestic Becks

Wednesday March 17- Saturday night we got caught up on Grey's Anatomy and Sunday we visited our newly engaged friend Janae as well as Stacie and Seth. Last night we saw DJ's comedy troupe and were very entertained by their stand up. We met Meredith's then "boyfriend" on their way back from their spring break in St. George/Las Vegas. We really liked him but Meredith needs someone more outgoing and musical. We met greeted them at our front door wit our most domestic apparel and appearances possible. I was wearing a cute apron holding a plate of smoked salmon and brie on a slices of baguette and in the other hand was a baked apple pie. Andrew was sitting on the sofa with his glasses reading the dictionary and sipping from a mug with his feet on the coffee table. We had to make a good first impression. You never know when Meredith will introduce us to our future brother in-law. Andrew and I are now reading the 3rd book in the Twilight series, Eclipse. Andrew could not wait for the movie in June before he found out what happens. The third was my favorite so I am excited to re-read it with him this time. I like having something we can both do together that is outside of the ordinary and specific to us. The above picture is us in our real vampire states.

New Goals

Saturday March 13- I want so badly to be the wife that Andrew needs. To show my love for him in the exact way he needs it and when he needs it. As we all know, Ashley needs to express her feelings verbally more often and express happiness through her face and actions. I am happy so often but i'm sad to see that Andrew can't understand i'm happy unless I show him and tell him. Why do I keep things to myself even if I really don't want to? Believe me, I have gotten better in the past couple of years but I have to remember that Andrew cannot read my mind and he wants to know everything I think. Recently since marriage, life has had some adjustments and my mind takes responsibility really seriously. It is kind of weighed down with achieving tasks and finishing lists. The thing that I have realized lately is that the lists will never be finished because there are always new things to add. I remember and dwell on things too much and I need to put these things aside and deal with them when they really need to be dealt with. I guess i'm a worrier.

My biggest changes starting now are : 1). find joy and happiness all the time in my life, especially through trials. Enduring to the end also means keeping a positive view. That is part of the test. 2). When I am happy, show it! 3). Remember always the Goddess I will become and the perfection that I will possess. I have been overcome with feelings of failure and I must remember that I am proving myself to my father, so accept that I make mistakes and prove my real self to the Father. Focus on the important things to excel at: my eternal nature, spirit and eternal marriage to my husband. Cherish him, meet his needs, and have fun! 4). I am now promising to read the scriptures everyday and pray (individually and with Andrew). This has been periodic and I know that the lack of doing that deprives me of a spiritual lift everyday. I need the reminder that God is over all and watches over me. Christ has suffered my pain and desires my upmost happiness. It has been easy to forget to do that because of scheduling issues, schoolwork, fatigue and marriage adjustments, but those are no excuses for not doing the most important things of the day. I know there have been times when I have not been able to concentrate on spiritual things because my relationship with Andrew has been off (which is probably because of a lack of gospel intuneness). I have noticed how Satan has created conflict around us many times before we go to church, before the temple, and even about how to pay tithing. He has made my heart troubled by our relationship at times when we really need to be able to focus on spiritual blessings we are trying to obtain.

I am recommitting myself to these 4 goals because I need to change to be more content with how I am living my life. I am in control of my life, my feelings, my actions, and my salvation. I am putting my real priorities first and everything else will fall into place. More trials will always be coming and these aspects of life must always be solid throughout every stage of life. I pray that the Lord will help me be the person I want to be. That woman who's divine self will be a perfect spirit after this life.