The Birth of Our Son Colin

Our beautiful baby boy, Colin Campbell Beck, was born at 38 weeks and 2 days on March 25, 2013. This is the story of his amazing birth as told by his mother. Wow! I'm a mom! 

I am writing this very honestly and frankly because I want to remember all of the details. If you don't like bloody details or pictures involving blood, do not continue reading.

I am extremely satisfied with the whole process of my natural birth in a birthing center using the "Hypnobabies" techniques. The course got me very prepared in understanding my body during birth. After all was said and done, my midwife told me that I did an incredible job and that if all first time moms birthed the way I did, her job would be so much easier. In the months prior, I prepared a lot with Hypnobabies and I made sure I ate healthily. I also believe I am a pretty strong person physically and I have a tough mentality when it comes to pain and physical power. I think my personality coupled with those other preparations, contributed greatly to my ability to bring a healthy Colin into this world without drugs, and to even choose that route in the first place. I am so glad that I made the right decision for myself.

The birth happened pretty much exactly as I envisioned it. The one difference was that I thought I would bake some cookies or something in the beginning/ mild contractions stage, but chose to rather lay down and save my energy, not knowing how long the day may be. I ended up with a birthing time of 7 1/2 hours, from the first contraction to birth. As my mind willed it to progress quickly and as I embraced every pressure wave as the means to bringing Colin into my arms, so it was. I am just so amazed at the power that my mind and female body have in this process of birth. While staring at this perfect little person, I was just in awe at the perfect Godly design of a female body to create a human being and birth it.

I woke up Monday March 25th at 8:30 a.m. and as I stood up I felt like I peed on myself. I realized that it wasn't pee because it didn't smell and I couldn't control it. I warned Andrew as he headed for school that if this was leaking amniotic fluid that this could probably be the day. I made last minute packings in the birth center bag and eventually put an adult diaper on so that I didn't have to keep changing a pad.

At 10:30 a.m. I noticed mild contractions. I always imagined birthing waves (contractions) to involve sharp, stinging pain but realized that to me they really just feel like intense gas cramps that kind of feel like a wave of pressure.

Andrew came home to be with me at about 12:30 and I texted my midwife, Heather, about my status as I ate lunch to continue my strength.

She told me to do a Hibaclens to fight any infection since the water breaking leaves the birthing canal vulnerable to infection. She told me to do nipple stimulation with the breast pump to help the pressure waves to get stronger. This stimulation creates oxytocin which is the hormone that causes contractions. I pumped both breasts at the same time and right away the waves got a bit stronger. I also gathered a couple of drops of liquid gold (colostrum) for later.

At this point I started listening to my "birthing day affirmations" track to get me mentally ready and I felt that I needed to start my hypnosis and try to relax. By this time it was about 2 p.m. I got steadily stronger contractions for the next 2 hours and Andrew timed everything for me while working on a project. I got on the birthing ball which I thought would be where I would live during my birthing time. It was surprisingly not my favorite position. I ended up laying on my side on the couch during most of the waves.

At about 4 p.m. I started getting nauseous during the waves and they were so strong that I had to moan through them. By this time I called Heather and told her that we should meet at the birthing center. I was also feeling mildly pushy and wondered if I would even be able to make it there. Everything happened really quickly. By this time, everything is kind of hazy because my eyes were usually closed (this helped me to keep from getting distracted by anything going on around me throughout the process) and I was in deep hypnosis (meditation and relaxation). Andrew was hurriedly trying to get things in the car and I remember our dog, Arrow, got out of the front door and Andrew had to chase him down. Andrew also couldn't find my shoes so I went without any. Andrew was kind of panicky but focused.

We arrived at the birthing center in Provo at about 5 p.m. and were met with Heather's sister, Megan, who was there to give a massage to a client. She is a certified Hypnobabies doula and helped put counter pressure on me until Heather arrived 5 minutes later. Andrew was giving me relaxation cues and reminding me to keep my jaw loose because that indicates that I am relaxed and my cervix can continue to open. Megan continued helping me while Heather and her team of student midwives got the tub ready. I was definitely pushy by then because I was starting to groan. I made deep low animal noises the rest of the way. My throat was soar for 2 days afterwards.

 I was getting really sweaty so I took off all my clothes. The tub was full enough for me to get in at that time and once I entered the water, everything was so much more manageable. I had just gone through the transformation stage which was the most uncomfortable part because it was akin to that feeling maybe when you are nauseous and you just want to jump out of your skin and move all over the place. The pushing part in the tub of nice hot water was actually very comfortable and a relief from transformation where I wanted to roll all over the floor to make that distressingly constant feeling go away.

I felt the support of all of these women, and Andrew, helping me through. While in the tub, I was surrounded by Megan and I believe her assistant massage therapist (who was so kind as to help support me physically and take pictures), two student midwives who I had met many times before, and then Heather.  I think it is so great that Megan and her assisstant wanted to stay and add any support. What a crazy turn of events in their day! By the time Colin came out, a doula/ student midwife, named Nat, that I really got along with and met the week before, had arrived and helped for a while during the aftermath. Someone put my hair up and someone was giving me oxygen. Heather was constantly checking heart tones since it is common for the baby's to dip during this part, hence the oxygen for me. I pushed for maybe 25 minutes while sitting with my back against the side of the tub. Andrew was next to Heather the whole tub experience and she explained how to catch the baby and other stuff. She also had him feel everything as it progressed. He could feel the head at every point that I was pushing.

 Heather suggested that I get on all fours because that position was better for helping baby out, so I did.

This is the point when the crowning started happening. I eventually pushed him out in this position which lasted about 20 minutes maybe. All of this seemed to fly by so it all really felt way shorter. As I got to the crowning part, which was the most uncomfortable because of the tightness and stretching, I told myself that this part was not going to be very long. I did that just as Heather suggested moving to the birthing stool because she thought Colin was coming out facing the wrong way and this part would take a bit longer. I wanted to stay in the water but I said "yes" since she thought it might be best. Since I didn't want it to take long, I really focused. I guess I focused really well because by the time Heather got back from setting up the chair (not very long), he was pretty much gonna come out. This was the part where I was saying out loud the words "Open" so that my perineum and everything would open up and Colin would slide out. The power of my mind made it happen because I think after the next 2 surges Colin's head went from being the size of the top of a cupcake to completely out.

At 6:07 p.m., he shot out so vigorously that no one could catch him. He was under water for about 5 seconds while Heather stayed in control and said for no one to touch the baby. She picked him up and put him on me right away, along with a towel to keep him warm. We touched him and talked to him while he slowly turned from purple to pink. I remember breathing so hard because of the adrenaline rush and the excitement of holding this beautiful boy.

He was covered in vernix and we felt the umbilical cord. It must have stopped pulsing because Andrew cut it after a couple of minutes. The placenta came out a minute later or so. It is in the plastic bag.

We also checked to see if it really was a boy. I held him while they cleared his nostrils and he started crying pretty soon after being born.  I drank some drink that helped with something related to maybe blood clotting or something. Andrew said there was a point when he looked in the water as it started to slowly fill with blood and he was scared by it. After about 5 minutes of holding him in there, Andrew took him while I was helped into the bed.

Andrew later shared his thoughts with me about the first time he held him. When he looked at him, Andrew said he felt like he didn't see Colin as a baby, but he felt that time flattened and he saw Colin as  a man that we were starting a life-long relationship with - a man we had known before this life, and man we would know throughout his life.  He said it was kind of hard to explain.

For about 20 minutes they assessed me and helped me get comfortable. They continued to squeeze my uterus by grabbing it from the belly region to help the blood flow to stop. Andrew came in and held Colin with his shirt off for some skin-to-skin contact. We were left together alone with Colin for as long as we wanted. I tried to breastfeed him and they snapped a shot of our little family.

The amazingly attentive staff attended to my tears. I seemed to have 4 very superficial cuts in different areas that were more like pressure tears (like a stretch mark). Usually a woman will tear vertically along the perineum but that part was all good. They ended up doing more of a cosmetic surgery repair. That part - the stitches - was probably the most unpleasant part, to be honest. Those repairs brought the sharp pain that in my opinion was more unpleasant than steady stretching of the perineum during crowning. The anticipation of the shot and the needle is what gets to me.

We took a print of the placenta and got a tour of Colin's litttle house for 9 1/2 months. They said it was a very strong and healthy sack.

This is the inside where Colin lived. You can see the white umbilical cord and the sack is the pink part that is being held.



This is the outside of it and the part that attached to me. Cool, right?

We having taken it home and  plan on putting it in smoothies or something so that we can get the nutritional value from it. Probably sounds pretty weird.      

I got light headed 2 different times when going to the bathroom so I ended up getting 3 liters of fluid through an IV while on the floor. I guess I lost a lot of blood for my body but they said it wasn't a noticeably bigger amount than the average mom. I was apparently extremely dehydrated. They had me taking Chlorophyl which is the closest thing to real blood that one can find in nature. Blood grabs onto it easily and turns it into more blood, which I think is really interersting. I drank it and it tasted like grass. I drank it over the few days after the birth as well.

After 3 hours or so they took Colin's stats and did reflex tests and an overall body exam. Andrew got to weigh him and he was 6 lbs 6 ounces.

Here's his little foot sticking out.

We found out he has a very pronounced dimple on his sacrum. The bottom of the spine is the very last part to form and the skin did not smooth out all of the way. We got an ultrasound done a couple of days later to make sure there was no spinal problem. It looked completely fine. He has great movement in his legs so there are not worries. He can have it cosmetically fixed in the future. He has a little birth defect now and the only problem with it is that poop can get stuck in it.


We all hung out for an hour or so while they kept an eye on me with the IV.  I just looked at the little miracle and ate some food. We were good to go home by 12 a.m.

 I was so happy with the attentiveness of everyone at "Birthing Your Way", and I loved asking them questions about what they were doing and having everything explained to me. I was so impressed with Heather and her knowledge and judgement. I trusted her to know if anything was beyond her control but I also knew that she wouldn't be a wimp and send me to a hospital at the first sign of something wrong or hard to deal with. She was so calm and collected and I appreciate everything she and her team did. They even came to my house to follow up for the 2 days after the birth. She has given me great breastfeeding help and is always a call away.

What is life like now? I am breastfeeding Colin and enjoying it although it has its challenges. Andrew and I change his diapers, calm him with the 5 S's when he cries, and I lay in bed so that my body can heal. My life is forever changed and I am overwhelmed with the responsibility and love that I have for this child. I now am beginning to understand a mother's love for a child and I would do anything for him. I can't wait to get to know him and find out what his personality is like. I love staring at this angel sent from heaven. 

We are in LOVE/Maternity Pictures

We got these pictures done to capture our life before the baby comes and before Andrew had to shave off his beard for school. Andrew's friend Trevor Christensen did them. Enjoy!

Laughing while trying out the pregnant hold

 

This is the Andrew section.

I find him to look similar to his bearded father (pictured below him).

               

    

Gotta end it with a chicken.

Preparations for Baby

It has taken me two weeks to finally feel all prepared for the baby since getting back from Amsterdam. I have had a fun but stressful time trying to choose a car seat, stroller, sling, diaper bag, and all the cloth diaper necessities from the diapers themselves to the cloth wipes, cloth diaper pail liners, diaper sprayer, wet bags, and natural laundry detergent. There are so many choices out there. My mom has been helping me research some things because she wants to help me get the most organically safe products for the baby and me. She found this stuff called soap nuts which I am really excited to use as an all natural laundry detergent. She has sent me this beautiful basinette that has been used for all of her children and many of my neices and nephews.

My sister had her last baby about 5 months ago and she sent me a ton of things. I was overwhelmed with packages from her filled with pretty much everything on my list for a newborn baby. I also had an awesome baby shower which reinforced my stash. So by the help of many wonderful women in my life I have hardly paid for a product for this new addition. We have been very blessed. I know we will be paying for plenty in the near future ;)

I have been reading books like "Happiest Baby on the Block," given to me by my sister, and I have practiced my swaddling. I haven't got a baby doll in the house so I took my Ugly Doll, Ninja, and practiced on him.

He was a very cooperative partner. The book discusses how to sooth a crying baby by combining many well know techniques but showing how to do them together and correctly so that they are the most effective.

I have attended a breastfeeding class and am reading La Leche League's book, "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding." I feel pretty prepared for breastfeeding but actually doing it will probably bring on the real questions.

In Amsterdam I read Ina May Gaskins "Guide To Childbirth" and LOVED it. It is really an amazing witness to the power of your mind and body when it comes to natural childbirth. It relayed beautiful (hippie) birth stories and gave very well researched information about all your options for childbirth. Once again, I am extremely excited to give birth using Hypnobabies. 

While in Amsterdam I also had lots of time to try to research vaccinations and after becoming very frustrated with the evidence for both ways, I have decided on delaying many of the vaccinations and definitely not getting certain ones. I feel that putting so many vaccinations into a tiny body at one time cannot be worth it. That doesn't mean that I will not get certain ones eventually but I would also like to separate them over time if possible.  In the end, I will pray about them depending on the needs of my child. I cannot rule anything out yet but I feel I have a good basis for making some decisions and asking the questions. A friend recommended a naturopathic doctor in the area who treats problems with natural therapies, herbal medicines and supplements, homeopathy, etc. He does not push vaccinations and I am very interested in seeing him.

After researching circumcision as well, we decided not to circumcise Colin. Like my approach to giving birth, I assumed all of my life I would do it a certain way and when I actually researched for myself, found that I did not agree with it. I love learning for myself and deciding what is best for me and the baby.

I also found some bilingual mom blogs out there (which I will have to use for support) and I looked into phrases and vocabulary for raising an infant in French. I learned a lot of good words while working in the French preschool in NYC last Summer as well. I am glad I get to speak it and test myself on what I do and do not know during the time where he is not soaking things up concretely. He is being introduced to sounds during the first bit of his life so I can make mistakes in vocab or grammar and then correct myself. I am glad that this will be a way for me to keep up my French. The plan is for me to always speak French to him and sometimes even around Andrew. Andrew understands and can speak back in English. His accent and grammar aren't where I would like it to be so we will see how things play out. It will be really fun. I am a bit worried about having discipline but I think I will remind myself daily of the incredible benefits Colin will get.

We have decided to try co-sleeping in a crib attached to the bed (given by my sister) or even bed sharing. We will possibly be trying both options but I am very, very drawn to attachment parenting. I will try to always hold him, even in a sling if I need to, and give him massages everyday, etc. I have heard from many people that babies make lots of noises during the night and having him in the same room may drive you crazy because you react to those noises and can't sleep. Again, we will have to see how things go but I want to be able to meet my child's needs before he reaches the last stage which is crying. Co-sleeping is just so ideal for breastfeeding mamas.

Last week my midwife wasn't sure if the baby was breech and he was semi posterior. She did a vaginal exam and found that he was extremely engaged in the pelvis, I was 3 cm dilated, and 90% effaced (which makes sense since he was very engaged). She said I could go into my birthing time any day now. I was not exactly all prepared so I went into a frenzy of last minute preparations. I am also trying to keep him anterior by doing rocking exercises so I don't have back labor. I haven't felt any apparent Braxton Hicks contractions but I have felt contractions after being prodded by the midwives.

Last week I also visited a chiropractor who was able to adjust things so my lower back felt better and everything was realigned. This was recommended so that the birth goes smoother and the baby doesn't run into kinks that may slow the birthing time down. After seeing him, I felt so light and I didn't even think I was pregnant anymore. It was amazing. I would recommend this to pregnant women and especially right before the birth if possible.

The last couple things I have done are arrange a baby station in our living room in the basement we live in and pack the birthing center bag. The car seat is in the car and I have told myself that he can come now. My mother in-law is still in England for another 9 days and my Mom is not planning on coming out until April 5th. She also has some health issues she is currently dealing with that would not allow her to fly yet. I would like one of them to be here to help me in the beginning but things will work out. This baby may not come early at all.

Well, that was my summary of the things I have learned and decided to do on my path to becoming a mommy. Becoming parents is going to be a crazy new adventure filled with experimenting, learning, and lovely new surprises. I am so happy that I will have Andrew by my side. I have told myself that no matter what frustrations or trials come my way, I have chosen this because it will bring me joy unlike anything I have experienced. All the sacrifices will be worth it and I have my Savior to guide and comfort me because he knows what I will be going through. I am a very strong woman who can do hard things that will make me better. So bring it on!

Here is to 37 weeks

Colin "The World Traveler" Baby Shower

The baby shower theme was Colin: The World Traveler, since he lived in NYC and Amsterdam and has visited Paris. Erin organized it and it turned out beautifully. Andrew designed the invitation which we put together before leaving Amsterdam. He had fun writing on my belly. The invitees were invited to bring a gift associated with a certain event during the day and a country. For example, lunch in Korea (I got roasted seaweed and steel chopsticks with that one), or playtime in Kenya, etc. I really liked how it could be used as inspiration for the guests.

In case you are wondering, yes, he had to photoshop out the creases in my breasts since we didn't want to offend anyone. This photo was done at 34 weeks. At the shower, I got a picture of my 5 year old neice, Charlotte, sending Colin some kisses. So tender.

Before opening presents, we played some fun games. For the first one, people guessed the size of my belly by guessing by string length. We also tried to identify animals through listening to kids make the sounds in the onomatopeia of their language from this site. We played MASH to decide Colin's future which included being a multimillionaire, bowl cut wearing, drug dealer living in Amsterdam and being married to Lily from Modern Family. Lastly we read off peoples' ideas for middle names for Colin. We chose the winner by randomly picking from the jar and Voldemort won. 

Erin made these adorable clouds that stuck to the window (clouds+ plane= travel)

These were some of our international decorations

These were some of our lovely guests

There was international food. I made sweet crepes and we had toppings that included berries, whipped cream, caramel sauce, nutella, speculoos, and powdered sugar. 

We found yummy appetizers like taquitos, Greek spanikopita, Indian pakoras, and Italian meatballs. We also included the Dutch stroopwafel cookies. We made virgin mimosas and my sister in-law Nicole made lovely cupcakes with paper airplanes in them.

It was such a fun party and I am so grateful to everyone that helped make it awesome.