The Woman Who Made Me Who I Am

I was able to spend some time with my mother and father last week and I wanted to write my feelings about my mom.

Before all the festivities of Nauvoo got started, I wanted to take a picture with this beautiful, and let me tell you, AMAZING woman right here.

The Rodgers family is just a magnificent group of people and a lot of it is because of my mother, Marian Rodgers. She raised 6 children and all while my father went to medical school and such. She has been a great example to me of how to be a teacher. She takes every opportunity to share the gospel because she is not afraid to open her mouth and talk to people. She understands that she has a gift that other people do not have and she uses it to bring people to Christ. At the airport on her way there she met 2 unrelated people who want to meet with the missionaries because of her conversation with them. She has everyone else's best interest at heart. She sacrifices so much and gives so much not expecting anything in return. When you talk to her you feel her love for you. She has dedicated her life to her children. She has always cheered me on at everything I have ever done. She would do anything for me. I know that without a doubt.

Is she perfect? Of course not, but she has tried her hardest to be her best self despite the difficulties she has gone through in her life. I say this because my mother has gone through some very hard things in the last 4 years and she is finally on the upswing because of her innate strength and strength she finds in Christ. Living in Utah during this part of her life has kept me from being able to be with her as much as I would like and she has felt very alone during that time, especially since the rest of my siblings live far away too.

My mother lost her 18 year old son about 13 years ago and I cannot imagine what that was like for her as a mother. To add to that ongoing pain, she has had multiple health problems that have crippled her very energetic body and spirit. Not even a year ago we found out that she had Lyme Disease which has caused her to have painful neuropathy in her extremities and among other symptoms has restricted her cognitive functions and altered her personality. That had been going on for years previously. When Andrew and I were dating I started to notice that she was not conversing the same way and sometimes I would get off the phone and wonder what she was even saying. It scared me and I remember starting to fear that my Mom would die because of how sick she seemed, and we did not know the cause of it. I remember this because the same day I revealed my love for Andrew to Aurora and Summer Florence (this was before we started dating) I told them about how worried I was about my Mom.

All growing up my Mom would randomly be very sick and unable to do things for days. We finally found out a couple of years ago that she had a bowel/ intestine blockage that happened when she gave birth to my sister over 20 years ago. She had surgery for that and the doctors said that has been causing her that unexplainable sickness.

Right around that same time she had an ovarian cyst surgery and then a couple of months later had breast cancer which lead to a mastectomy. She dealt with all of these health problems while having the symptoms of Lyme Disease. That is not the end of her problems but those are just some of the surgeries she has had.

Over the past year she has had acupuncture to help with her neuropathy and has taken to a strict diet that includes whole foods and awesomely healthy stuff so that she can heal her body with food. I admire that discipline and it has changed her body. She has lost so much weight. Compare the picture from last week (above) to us on my wedding day during all of her sicknesses in 2009.

She has worked incredibly hard to get her cognitive functions back and she did it so quickly and well that she stunned her doctors. She is also cancer free after two years. I am telling you, she is incredible. I try to think about how I would have dealt with all of these trials and I cannot begin to imagine the pain, and all of the mental, emotional, and physical fatigue. This is also where I see the Lord's hand in her life to help her through this. That is a strength she cannot get from anybody else but him. He is the only one who completely understands her pains and sorrows because he suffered them through the beautiful act of the atonement.

I say she has been alone because she was hard to be around since her personality was altered. I am so sad to hear that she has not had everyone who loves her right next to her being her biggest fan, me included. I have not always been able to be next to her but I have always given her encouragement and listened to her during the hard times. I tried to understand her and told myself that even though she had been difficult to deal with because of the personality change and her high maintenance because of the sickness, that was not who she really was and that she would get through it.

Through these past years with my Mom I have truly been tested on how to have unconditional love. She has always shown me that and it was my turn to return it. I recognized that she needed support and it was not my place to judge her. We all make mistakes and we are sometimes subjected to the limits of our bodies. No matter what someone does I should forgive them and try to treat them lovingly. That has been hard for all of my immediate family to do because we are the closest to each other. I would say that that is where unconditional love and support can be challenged the most. I am not saying I have gone through this experience without becoming impatient since I am human. I would say that I became confused and sad that my relationship with my Mom was strained and it was harder to easily love her. I am so glad that through prayer and understanding given to me by the Spirit of God, my heart was softened and I was able to see my mother as the perfect being she could be. Today I have nothing but respect and love for this great woman who has given me so much. I am crying as I write this because I am thinking about how much she loves me. 

Nauvoo: City of Joseph

Andrew and I had an amazing opportunity to visit Nauvoo, Illinois last weekend. Nauvoo is a city that the Mormons built when Joseph Smith was the prophet. It is a beautiful and historic city on the Mississippi River. My family met up there for our annual family reunion because my sister meredith was able to perform the part of Becky Laird, a fiery Scottish gal, in the beautifully done Nauvoo Pageant. Wonderfully enough, Aurora and Jeff played Joseph and Emma!

We started off by taking a wagon ride around the town and saw many homes and shops that have been restored. I captured this shot of the Mississippi River which the early LDS members had to cross on their trek west. There are many American Lotus flowers along the shore in this picture.

We were then able to watch vignettes performed in special spots around the town. In front of the Smith home, Jeff and Aurora performed letters that had been written between Joseph and Emma during many hard separations forced upon them because of unjust imprisonment or work that had to be done elsewhere. It was a beautiful insight into their relationship.

Jeff also performed a discourse that Joseph gave at the funeral of a man named King Follett. It was in the same grove of trees that it was originally given. This was the first time Joseph revealed to the members what happens after death. It was beautifully touching and wonderful to try to think about what comfort this would have been had I been there and heard this doctrine for the first time.

Before every vignette the Nauvoo Bagpipe Band plays. There were many Scottish immigrants who came to Nauvoo at this time. I love the sound of bagpipes. Here is a picture of the band.

We also stopped by the brick making building and learned about the intense process of making one brick. Nauvoo clay is red so the brick is also that color. Every family got a brick in the end. This is a picture of the finished brick inside the clay brick mold.

We got together and did our tradition of writing my brother Chet a message and then putting them in balloons and letting them go in the sky. I am glad that we can always do something to remember him while we are together.

There is a lot of corn and soy bean out in the plains of Illinois so I had to get a shot of Andrew coming out of the corn field. 

We were able to attend the Nauvoo festivities before the pageant. They have a fair set up and you play lots of games they would have played in the 1840s or make crafts, dance, do puppets, etc. Meredith beat Dan in stick pull and the picture below is my evidence. Andrew hurt his back playing against Dan and is slightly still in pain. Crazy enough my mom beat me, my sister-in-law Candie, and Meredith who  are all very active and fit women. I have got to start eating what she eats.

We also got a picture with Meredith dressed up as Becky, looking so beautiful and happy.

Her experience doing this pageant has changed her. We love her so much. After Andrew, she is my favorite person in the entire world. You could then say that my favorite people are in this picture above (well except for that kid in the orange shirt. Don't know him.) I admire her talent and energy. I love her sense of humor and her strength in her service to the Lord. I feel like I have helped raise her and I have seen her go through every up and down. I have sometimes been too much of a mother and other times I have just held her as she cries. Life is hard and I am so happy to see her where she is right now and see her becoming who she wants to be. I am still trying to get to that point too. She is an INCREDIBLE human being and anyone who gets to be a part of her world comes away feeling loved and uplifted because she is honestly a window to God's love. I could talk about her forever...

The pageant is so well done and professional. It simply testifies of the amazing work that was done in this city and the impact it had on the church and its people. Afterwards the cast talks to everyone and encourages us to think of people that might want to receive a CD of the music from it. I was on fire and me and Andrew wrote some names down. I have honestly had such a great Summer where I have been more focused on missionary work. I love it!

We visited Carthage Jail where Joseph and his brother Hyrum were martyred. I was able to have a better understanding of the context of the death of Joseph Smith. I was reminded that he sealed his work with his blood. I loved hearing the quote by Josiah Quincy Jr., Mayor of Boston in 1845 that said, "It is by no means improbable that some future textbook... will contain a question something like this: What historical American of the nineteenth century has exerted the most powerful influence upon the destinies of his countrymen? And it is by no means impossible that the answer to that interrogatory may be thus written: Joseph Smith, the Mormon prophet." Being the man who was called to be the prophet who re-established Christ's church on this earth merits that kind of title.

Here is one of the cells he stayed in for a bit. He stayed in many others like this when he was unjustly imprisoned on many occasions.

We went into the room where the angry mob shot and killed him and his brother. Here is the original door with the bullet hole next to the lock and in the middle of the door.

This is a shot of the outside of the small building which was actually a home as well. The window at the top is the one that Joseph fell out of after being shot.

While in Nauvoo, my family was also able to do something very powerful and that was temple work for our ancestors. We were able to seal family as recent as my great grandmother. I believe we did over 30 sealings. My mother worked hard to organize this so we could have this beautiful experience. I know Andrew and I have done many names and ordinances in preparation since we have been here in Manhattan. It was unlike other temple work I have done because I was with my family and we were doing the eternal work for people who made it possible for us to be here.

My family in front of the temple - minus Joy and Quin's family

It is in these holy places where I can be the closest to God on earth and it is here where I can feel about myself the way God sees me.

Andrew and I took a picture together too

It was a fun and very spiritually inspiring and uplifting trip. I wish I could spend more time with my family. I love them dearly and I am so happy to know that I am sealed to them for eternity.