The Woman Who Made Me Who I Am

I was able to spend some time with my mother and father last week and I wanted to write my feelings about my mom.

Before all the festivities of Nauvoo got started, I wanted to take a picture with this beautiful, and let me tell you, AMAZING woman right here.

The Rodgers family is just a magnificent group of people and a lot of it is because of my mother, Marian Rodgers. She raised 6 children and all while my father went to medical school and such. She has been a great example to me of how to be a teacher. She takes every opportunity to share the gospel because she is not afraid to open her mouth and talk to people. She understands that she has a gift that other people do not have and she uses it to bring people to Christ. At the airport on her way there she met 2 unrelated people who want to meet with the missionaries because of her conversation with them. She has everyone else's best interest at heart. She sacrifices so much and gives so much not expecting anything in return. When you talk to her you feel her love for you. She has dedicated her life to her children. She has always cheered me on at everything I have ever done. She would do anything for me. I know that without a doubt.

Is she perfect? Of course not, but she has tried her hardest to be her best self despite the difficulties she has gone through in her life. I say this because my mother has gone through some very hard things in the last 4 years and she is finally on the upswing because of her innate strength and strength she finds in Christ. Living in Utah during this part of her life has kept me from being able to be with her as much as I would like and she has felt very alone during that time, especially since the rest of my siblings live far away too.

My mother lost her 18 year old son about 13 years ago and I cannot imagine what that was like for her as a mother. To add to that ongoing pain, she has had multiple health problems that have crippled her very energetic body and spirit. Not even a year ago we found out that she had Lyme Disease which has caused her to have painful neuropathy in her extremities and among other symptoms has restricted her cognitive functions and altered her personality. That had been going on for years previously. When Andrew and I were dating I started to notice that she was not conversing the same way and sometimes I would get off the phone and wonder what she was even saying. It scared me and I remember starting to fear that my Mom would die because of how sick she seemed, and we did not know the cause of it. I remember this because the same day I revealed my love for Andrew to Aurora and Summer Florence (this was before we started dating) I told them about how worried I was about my Mom.

All growing up my Mom would randomly be very sick and unable to do things for days. We finally found out a couple of years ago that she had a bowel/ intestine blockage that happened when she gave birth to my sister over 20 years ago. She had surgery for that and the doctors said that has been causing her that unexplainable sickness.

Right around that same time she had an ovarian cyst surgery and then a couple of months later had breast cancer which lead to a mastectomy. She dealt with all of these health problems while having the symptoms of Lyme Disease. That is not the end of her problems but those are just some of the surgeries she has had.

Over the past year she has had acupuncture to help with her neuropathy and has taken to a strict diet that includes whole foods and awesomely healthy stuff so that she can heal her body with food. I admire that discipline and it has changed her body. She has lost so much weight. Compare the picture from last week (above) to us on my wedding day during all of her sicknesses in 2009.

She has worked incredibly hard to get her cognitive functions back and she did it so quickly and well that she stunned her doctors. She is also cancer free after two years. I am telling you, she is incredible. I try to think about how I would have dealt with all of these trials and I cannot begin to imagine the pain, and all of the mental, emotional, and physical fatigue. This is also where I see the Lord's hand in her life to help her through this. That is a strength she cannot get from anybody else but him. He is the only one who completely understands her pains and sorrows because he suffered them through the beautiful act of the atonement.

I say she has been alone because she was hard to be around since her personality was altered. I am so sad to hear that she has not had everyone who loves her right next to her being her biggest fan, me included. I have not always been able to be next to her but I have always given her encouragement and listened to her during the hard times. I tried to understand her and told myself that even though she had been difficult to deal with because of the personality change and her high maintenance because of the sickness, that was not who she really was and that she would get through it.

Through these past years with my Mom I have truly been tested on how to have unconditional love. She has always shown me that and it was my turn to return it. I recognized that she needed support and it was not my place to judge her. We all make mistakes and we are sometimes subjected to the limits of our bodies. No matter what someone does I should forgive them and try to treat them lovingly. That has been hard for all of my immediate family to do because we are the closest to each other. I would say that that is where unconditional love and support can be challenged the most. I am not saying I have gone through this experience without becoming impatient since I am human. I would say that I became confused and sad that my relationship with my Mom was strained and it was harder to easily love her. I am so glad that through prayer and understanding given to me by the Spirit of God, my heart was softened and I was able to see my mother as the perfect being she could be. Today I have nothing but respect and love for this great woman who has given me so much. I am crying as I write this because I am thinking about how much she loves me.