Andrew caught this great moment of Colin and me on our bike ride to church. I am on the bike path which is next to the pedestrian sidewalk and Andrew is riding on the road. The bike paths are in the red color so you can identify them anywhere.
This is Colin on the left and I am on the right at about the same age. I would say we are twins except for the hair color. Genetics are pretty neat.
and His favorite new activity is climbing up the stairs, which as I have said are deadly. Not only are they steep, but they curve quickly as well and this staircase to the third floor has holes in it to fall through as well as a jagged brick wall to fall on. I have recently slipped on the slippery wooden steps and hit my back in the same place every time , while simultaneously scratching my arm on the brick... and I'm an adult. We should only be here for 2 1/2 more weeks, thank goodness.
We have this wooden ottoman-like furniture in the living room. It rolls and is the perfect height for a walker. Colin pushes it around for practice in the video below. The other video is of him trying to figure out how to get down when he is upright.
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Through Facebook, I have met up with many French/French speaking moms. We have gone to a birthday party, met up in cafés, and had small playgroups. I am so happy that I have the opportunity to surround Colin and myself with French so easily. He will have friends to play with in French and I can ask these ladies all of my child-rearing questions when it comes to language and culture. I don't believe I would have that opportunity so easily back in the U.S.
We have really tried to get involved with the missionaries here. We invite them to dinner regularly and meet with them to discuss our missionary goals. I never knew who the missionaries even were in our wards in Provo and so it is a goal of ours to get involved here. Andrew helped instill the "Harlem Welcome" into our Amsterdam ward. In meeting with the missionaries, we found that it was hard to know the membership status of people. We suggested they have all the people who were visiting for the first time to introduce themselves to everyone after sacrament meeting. They are given a microphone and stand up where they are. This helps the members know who is investigating the church or who is just visiting, etc. We are all much more aware of who needs to be fellowshipped afterwards. It has really helped but I think it is a bit culturally shocking for some people to stand up and introduce themselves. The people don't give you a big hearty welcome after each introduction like they did in Harlem though :(
In all of Andrew's eagerness to get involved (like taking it upon himself to photograph everyone for the ward directory) he received the calling of Elders Quorum president (leader of all the men aged 18-50 or so). These callings of leadership always come at the busiest times of your life I guess. So now Sundays aren't really family time. Andrew works on Saturdays so Sunday was the only day that I felt we could more equally share parenting and household duties, and spend all day together. I'm not really that excited for it, but I know it is the right thing to serve.
Speaking of time management, Andrew puts in freelance time every morning before work and after work, and pretty much every spare moment. We have to schedule a bit of time together every evening. So as to diversify our activities and not always try to watch part of a movie (movies are way too long to finish in one evening because a little someone always wakes up), we have labeled our evenings. Inevitably things get in the way on random nights but it helps us do meaningful activities that connect us when we do them.
Sunday = planning/spa night
Monday = Family Home Evening
Tuesday = Work
Wednesday = movie
Thursday = dinner with friends
Friday = Read book and French lesson
Saturday = Date day (essential with a baby)
It is way too hard to keep up a marriage and raise a baby. I am praying that things get easier and soon. From what I have heard, that isn't the case. After a certain age it will be but not anytime soon. Colin is reliant on me for everything and I have been having a hard time giving so much to everyone. It is the most demanding stage of my life and creating balance is something I am trying to do but I fear is never going to happen. I am a very organized person and having a baby really messes all of that up.
Sometimes I see pictures of people without a child and I resent the fact that they have so much freedom to do anything, go anywhere they want and whenever, at a whim. I am jealous of people who have so much freedom, even my husband. Unless you have been a mom then you don't know how much work it took to just get myself ready (even the 5 minute version) and feed and cloth a baby (in the winter mind you) just to get out the door and then be somewhere. I wish I could take a long, hot bath in the morning and have fun just leisurely putting on my makeup and trying on outfits, then doing my hair. Meeting up at a café isn't like it use to be. It isn't a relaxing conversation where I can take my time drinking a hot chocolate and formulating well-put thoughts. I am struggling to keep Colin from touching things that might hurt him or chasing him if I put him down. High chairs help (if they have them) but I still have to have prepared a snack beforehand and I have to be aware in case he chokes while he feeds himself. I am constantly multi-tasking and life doesn't slow down enough for me to have a break and simply ponder. I know this is the life I signed up for, but it is exhausting and I wish more than anything else that I had more freedom and time for myself.
As I am writing this post, I have to go to the bathroom but my baby needs me to hold him. So what happens? I pee my pants a bit or I hold him while I go to the bathroom, which is awkward and uncomfortable. It can sometimes end up with his foot falling between my legs into the line of fire. My life isn't my own. Sorry but you caught me on a day where I really do not want to be a mommy. I love all of the sentimental happy moments but these hard feelings need to be remembered too.
I came up with the idea where I would do something just for me on Saturdays when Colin takes his morning nap and Andrew is home. I decided I like going to the organic market/ flea market and I just bike around and stop wherever. In that hour and a half or so, I feel free to go anywhere and do anything without any responsibilities. It is enough for now. I am really trying to focus on the happy parts of life though. I CAN control my attitude and choose to be happy. That's definitely still a work in progress.
That's great that you guys are getting so involved. I love the French connections you've found. We're raising our guy bilingual in Chinese, which is a little easier than French over here, especially where we live. It is hard to be a mom. We're on call 24/7 in a way Dad isn't, no matter how equally parenting duties are shared. Getting some alone time is essential, I'm glad you were able to get out. Sometimes I send Patrick and the baby out with the shopping list, which is also nice. Between all the breastfeeding, sleeping together, holding him, etc. it just becomes too much sometimes. But you're getting out, acknowledging your feelings and finding outlets for yourself, finding friends...sounds like you're doing a pretty good job. And if nothing else, there's always bedtime. :) Are you cloth diapering over there? How is that going?
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