Joining the Mom Club

No, I haven't bought mom jeans yet but essentially, I have joined the ranks of the brave and strong women called moms. I have become a mom and it has completely changed my life. I probably don't have anything enlightening to say about it but I can share my individual feelings about it. You enter a special club and unless you have given birth to and raised a child, you can never understand what it is like.  I love it! Yes it is extremely trying at times but I am fulfilling my calling as a woman so I would think that would come with lots of tests. God wants us to grow spiritually and become more perfect beings. Getting married and having a family, in my eyes, is the exact way he intended for that to happen.

The hardest thing for me in becoming a mom is that you give up control. You are no longer in control of anything. My baby has needs at the most inconvenient times and I need to meet them. You can't be selfish and be a mom. If you are, then you are put in your place quickly and make some leaps and bounds in maturity. Motherhood involves a lot of sacrifice. All of my needs and wants usually come second. But then there is your relationship with your husband that comes second, so I guess my needs come third. By the time that rolls around, I'm asleep. I told Andrew that he is in charge of my needs because I do a crappy job. Having a baby also means I go from spending tons of free time with Andrew to spending WAY less since the arrival of the babe. It is a great challenge trying to give Andrew my attention and love in the amount that he needs and I truly want to give him. The baby comes in between you and it is pretty hard, especially since things are out of my control a lot of times and a baby sucks out a lot of your energy.

The coolest thing is seeing them change. It is INCREDIBLE to watch the growth and development of a child. It is so subtle and so quick. I had no idea it would be like that. I have spent every single day with this kid for the past 9 1/2  months and I couldn't imagine my life without him anymore. It would be really bizarre. My favorite thing is to make him laugh and smile. It melts your heart. I also like when he kind of hyperventilates when he gets excited. He's really cute when he eats. Okay, everything about him is adorable and my favorite thing. Sometimes I get really frustrated and so tired, but somehow God gives me the strength to keep going. I think God made babies so inherently cute to us so that in those moments we don't give them away and we are rejuvenated.

Before we start on specifics, do yourself a favor and go here and watch Colin at like 5 weeks old. We made up a song while we filmed him. I guess we didn't get it on YouTube.

Colin didn't gain weight well in the first month of breastfeeding. He was born 6 lbs 6 ounces and only reached 8 lbs at 2 months old. I will make a different post about breastfeeding but let's just say it can be very difficult. I am so glad I made a commitment to myself to not let anything get in the way and I am extremely grateful to the women who supported me through that hard time. I am successfully still breast-feeding and love it so much.

I love nursing beccause I get to hold Colin close and he looks up at me lovingly with his big brown eyes. My favorite part is when he delatches so that he can give me a big grin. He also loves to put his hand up and touch my face. There is an incredible bond that is formed. It is a quiet, calm part of my day that reassures me that nourrishing and growing this little boy is the best job ever.

Sickness-wise, he has gotten a runny nose for a day at 2 months old, then a runny nose for a week at 6 1/2 months old, and then at 7 months old he got some kind of vomiting bug for 24 hours and i'm not even sure if it was something I ate or if he was sick because he sure didn't act sick. He has taken 4 planes rides and lived in 3 different cities (he has been exposed to plenty of germs) and he is fit as a fiddle. I attribute that to breastfeeding and a healthy diet  (well, and not vaccinating, but that is a whole different conversation). I knew that I would rather spend all the effort in the beginning to breastfeed rather than tons of time and effort going to a doctor and dealing with a sick baby all the time. Healthy food is our medicine.

At 2 months old, Colin was fat enough to start cloth diapers! I have loved them and the hardest thing is that since we have moved so many places temporarily, we have not had a diaper sprayer/ hand held bidet for the poop and that has gotten annoying. No complaints other than that!

We visited my sisters in Mesa, AZ at 2 months old. They were a tremendous support at the time I started supplementing with formula. They also helped me get him to sleep. He would only sleep if I held him and I could never get anything done. They taught me about the cycle of waking up, eating, awake time, and sleeping right when he shows signs of tiredness. I just though that babies would fall asleep on their own but he wasn't getting enough food so he was hungry but then tired as well. He would get overtired and I would be able to nurse him to sleep until 1 a.m. It was horrible! I got him enough food and then put him to sleep before he got overtired and it worked right away. I cannot tell you how amazing that information was for me. My sisters have been amazing resources. They helped me see that Colin is not demanding and so I have to really pay attention and use my mommy powers to perceive his needs sometimes. The kid hits his head pretty well tons of times a day and never cries. He is extremely chill and I guess it comes from me.

We made a music video while there:

At about 5 months old, Andrew finished school (Hallelujah!) and we moved on to New York City. Once we got to NYC, Colin decided to go crazy and wake up sometimes 8 times a night. After a month of that, I had reached a breaking point (couldn't function and had to have my groceries delivered). This is what sleep deprivation looks like:



I decided to sleep train him by picking him up when he cried but then putting him back down when he calmed down, and repeat. He eventually learned to self soothe and we didn't have to cry it out and still don't. It hasn't worked perfectly because he goes through phases where he is too distraught (wonder weeks or teething) and he cannot calm down. Overall, he knows how to sleep without me holding him or relying on nursing to fall asleep and those are important for me to be able to function. We have decided that aside from all of the sleep training things we read, we went with our parenting instincts which lean toward attachment parenting where you listen to the child's needs and if he is crying then he needs something. He will become more independent from me when he feels he is ready. It is all very tricky and a very hard subject to come to a decision about. I totally understand the appeal of CIO. I would love 8 straight hours of sleep. I have actually had it on rare occasions and it was absolutely incredible.

Here are some videos at about 5 1/2 months old:




Colin started army crawling at about 6 1/2 months and then sat up on his own at about 7 months.

Beginner crawler (he loves the broom)

Colin loves the computer

At 8 months he was crawling up things and pulling himself up. At  about 8 1/2 months he started taking steps with my balancing help.


He got his two bottom teeth at about 6 1/2 months old and is now getting his top two. One has cut through.

I should have gotten him into baby modeling while in NYC. I never did but he is very calm and content, smiles at everybody, and has hair which, let's face it, just makes him more attractive than bald babies. On top of that, he is beautiful and slender, which a former baby model mommy told me is something the agents look for. Haha, anyway, maybe I should try for it in Amsterdam. Just for fun.

What else is there to talk about? I still speak French to him and have started to find other bilingual French/English moms here in Amsterdam. I have found the wonder of Facebook groups for any specific need or interest you have. It is great for support as a mother. That is helping me find like-minded parents and hopefully new friends. I have already met up with one American who is married to a French guy and raise their kids bilingual! There are plenty more too. Nothing noticeable is happening with his language abilities yet so I can't comment on its effects.

Well, I have the most beautiful baby in the world. He is a joy to everyone he meets. I love seeing him bring a smile to a strangers face. It happens every time we go out. His smile lights up the room and I am blessed to have that joyful reminder of God's love for me every day. /