Colin loves motos and I didn't know a kid's song in French about them so I wrote my own. Melody and lyrics by Ashley Beck, not Andrew. Andrew of course is on guitar and back up vocals. I can write music too! Yay!
Andrew made a video so that Colin can watch and listen whenever he wants. We put in parts about pancakes because we love when Colin says pancake.
We recorded his reaction and put them together.
Monday, November 3, 2014
Saturday, October 25, 2014
The Nomad Life For Us
Say what?!
Why has the Beck family decided to be nomads, slowly traveling the world while Andrew freelances from his computer? Well, I guess this all started with a vision of freelancing and traveling that I had about 3 years ago. I realized Andrew could provide for us while being a crazy, freelancing artist so I then imagined us in a quirky old van, driving through the deserts of Morocco with a couple of sandy and dirty kids, watching the sunset over the desert dunes and learning from everyday adventures. There was this rush of excitement that came over me when I thought about being free from things and coming and going whenever and wherever we pleased. I realized that I longed to see the world and experience cultures in a deeper way than a week long visit.
Back in May we started thinking about possibly leave Holland in November when our resident permits are up. After months of wanting to do this but not knowing if we should, we revisited this dream and we have since realized that now is a great time to do this. Back in May we started reading The Alchemist, knowing nothing beforehand about the premise (a boy travels in search of his destiny). The messages in this book rang so true to us that it propelled us to stop all of the dreaming and go for it one day. Well that time is now!
We have almost been swayed by offers of higher paying salary jobs but it would mean more of the same lifestyle. We want to try something crazy and new and when you actually can work from home and you have wanderlust, it would be a shame to not give it a try. In the end, I couldn't live with myself if I never tried this out. Jobs will always be there when we want to settle down again. We really love that Andrew can spend more time with us so I'm not rushing to send him back to a studio. I want to have this experience now because it will definitely change us for the better, so why not sooner than later? Don't worry, I will definitely blog about what we experience and learn.
I'd say some people (the adventurous type) when hearing about how we are going to slowly travel the world, would say, "Oh man, I wish I could do that!" Yes, we are very fortunate that Andrew can work from anywhere as long as he has a computer. Many jobs don't allow for that and we are so grateful.
I'd say almost all of the mothers here that I have told our plans to have not reacted so excitedly. They have reacted unenthused and usually start asking logistics questions about how and why we would want to do this. It is normal to question this because it is very different and most people haven't even entertained this lifestyle as a possibility. For some reason these women go straight to the need for Colin to be in a school and then I drop the bomb that I am planning on homeschooling Colin and that I don't believe he needs school. According to the Dutch, Colin should be in a creche right now. I calm their minds by telling them that he wouldn't need to be in elementary school for another 4-5 years and that I was a teacher. This really makes me laugh because I don't think that I am more qualified to guide Colin through life and learning now that I got a certificate for education. I think some women dot put enough trust into their innate gift to nurture and teach. Anyway, we have had many different reactions to our announcement to move and we honestly thought everyone would think it was so cool and different that we are doing this. Not so, which is totally fine but it just goes to show us how very radical this is.
How is this going to be possible?
This isn't a life of vacation and glamourous, luxury hotels and restaurants. This is going to be us, living real life but doing it in new and exciting place where we can explore new cultures and sites. We will stay in one place or country for anywhere from 1-3 months, usually staying in apartments through vacation rental sites. I am not yet sure what traveling styles will suit us. People travel in different ways. Some go to different cities within a country while others stay put and travel from a central location. Maybe a local tells you about a place to rent. Some people RV, which is on our list to try. There are home sitting sites or organizations that give you a place to stay in return for working on their organic farms. There are plenty of accommodations to choose from and maybe sometimes we will try a resort or a hotel to mix things up. The possibilities are endless. We are taking it slow so that it is more affordable and we can stay sane.
What's cool is there are tons of families that do slow world traveling and blog about it so I have been able to read about their lives and get ideas about how to prepare and make it happen. There are plenty of freelancers who travel the world as well but less often with a family. My favorite family I have followed is this raw food family with 5 kids that travel and have an online business. Get to know the Sundance Family and see what I imagine our life to be like (not 5 kids though).
Many people have to get out of debt, save up, rent or sell their homes and then sell everything to get enough money to do something like this for a while. We have never settled down anywhere so the transition is not that extensive and Andrew will be working. By working, we allow this adventure to be as long or short as we want it to be and we do not have to be worried about running out of money or being stranded. We did the full-time freelance thing in NYC for 4 months before coming to Amsterdam and realized we loved all of the freedom and actually learned that we could get by living in expensive New York City by freelancing. Our rent is whatever housing we find in the new country. We aren't paying for hotels on top of rent like you would when vacationing. We aren't constantly eating out because we have no kitchen. People create different budgets but for us, we will spend some money on fun things to do and the only other new cost we would pay monthly is whatever travel costs we incur. For us, that is even less than the monthly amount that we were saving towards traveling anyway. This travel cost is another reason why we aren't flying to new places week after week, just occasionally. You will need to travel within the country but that is all there is for new costs and that is totally manageable. It really isn't that much different money-wise and is actually simpler and possibly cheaper depending on where you are. The world outside of Europe and America is much cheaper to live in. We won't pay anymore rental tax like we do here and we may or may not have travel insurance. We may have a small prepaid phone cost but we aren't paying $120/ month on 3G iPhone plans like we did in the US. We just want to live simply and focus on connecting with the world and connecting as a family. The stuff that actually matters.
Life is so flexible this way. One of the best parts is that we can avoid Winter for the rest of our lives if we wanted to. Our housing can be so diverse. One time we could live on a beach, then a cave, then a tropical bungalow or cabin in the woods. We can leave a place if we aren't liking it. Part of going on this adventure is that it will help us figure out what life we really want to lead and where that could be. If you find that you spent too much one month then you can go somewhere cheap to live and get by for the next month because you have that freedom of travel. There is no set amount for spending because each place will be different but that allows for you to be flexible according to any financial needs. For example, we want to eventually get to Australia but we will need to go through Southeast Asia and save up before heading over to the extremely expensive continent of Australia.
What is freelancing like?
About 4 years ago, Andrew told me he wanted to totally support us on freelancing as a Graphic Designer and he wasn't even planning on studying that yet. It was just a hobby that he wanted to pursue. I knew he could make crazy plans work out and had total faith in him. He had to step out on a limb and we kept afloat until I finished my degree and could contribute some income. During our first 2 years of marriage, Andrew had A LOT to learn about freelancing. He spent so much time contacting people and doing work for cheap so he could get the experience. He taught himself design programs and spent hours upon hours just trying to learn how to do things quicker and easier. He made lots of mistakes with clients and also learned about how to be successful. He went through the BFA Graphic Design program and gained important knowledge and skills to make him even better. He is an excellent communicator and a really hard worker. He puts forth extra effort to have a presence in the online design world and jobs just come to him now. He has spent the last 4 years learning the ins-and-outs of freelancing and it is really paying off. Illustration is actually probably his real passion and he gets lots of jobs for that too. Freelancing allows him to explore illustration more and figure out who he really wants to be as an artist. He is really happy to be able to just focus 100% on freelancing (something he only had the opportunity to do for a few months in NYC) so that he is not trying to balance two different work worlds. It will help him stay even more organized and efficient.
As a freelancer, you set your own hours. Andrew can work super hard one day because his creative juices are flowing and then he may have a creative block for a couple of hours and decide that we should go out and see a nearby waterfall for the afternoon. You can make more money by working harder one month and less money another month. There is no cap on how much money you can make a month. I am so proud of Andrew because every time we set a goal to financially reach, he always reaches it. We can go out by day and spend time with our son and then Andrew can work at night while Colin is asleep, if he wanted. He can take a 10 minute break and play with Colin or cuddle me. We can eat all our meals together. He gains an hour and a half by not commuting to work. He doesn't have to spend time getting ready in the morning and could lay in a hammock in his PJs and gets inspiration from the beauty of a sunset on the beach. Who invented the need for a 40 hour work week, by the way? When you are in charge of your schedule, you can create a system that is efficient, possibly less time consuming, and doesn't conform to the way society views work, or in Andrew's case, play. The freedom is tantalizing and makes all of the untantalizing business part of freelancing totally worth it. He gets a lot of work and he has the freedom to only choose projects he would love to work on, not just stuff to pay the bills. I do everything I can to make it so that he can keep work under control with the massive amount of e-mails he has to write, contracts, paperwork, invoices, and on time deliveries. I take care of the home and all the physical needs and travel plans while offering my secretarial services occasionally and oh yeah, there's this toddler that hangs around and undoes everything I just cleaned. I see us spending a lot of time outside. I am excited to be back in the freelance life, mainly because I have another adult around to talk with during the day. I also love that Andrew gets to spend more time with Colin.
What changes are going to happen?
As awesome and adventurous as this will be, there is also quite a trade-off and you have to decide if it is worth it. First of all, I think you have to have an easy-going personality and sense for adventure. I'm not even positive how I will react to everything but I am confident that I will enjoy it. We expect that there will be many bumps along the road just like life will bring you anyway. Things are not going to always go as planned. I am really trying to have that expectation so that I can turn those moments into funny and crazy memories where we just throw up our hands and say "Well, there's nothing we can do about it so let's go talk to that snake charmer and get his story". This mentality is a new one for me. I have definitely not always reacted like that (read the previous post, Let It Go: Unmet Expectations, Control, Worrying ).
We are doing something that can be really hard for some people and that is letting go of some comforts and familiarity. Life is much simpler and comfortable in our home here in Holland. I would guess that not very many mothers of a 19 month old would sign up for this much craziness. We will have a baby and that takes a lot of energy and upkeep. Colin is a happy and easy-going kid but he is still a baby and those are a lot of work no matter what temperament he is. I have to figure out how to potty train Colin at some point too. My baby will sleep in unfamiliar places and won't have but a couple of toys. There will not be a consistent cash flow and we will always be saying goodbye to any new friends we make. We will be thrust into unfamiliar places trying to communicate with people and wondering how to get around and how much money we are actually spending with our new currency. We are letting go of having a home equipped with all of our kitchen items specific to my cooking needs. Finding food will be quite an adventure since every mom knows that you get attached to YOUR grocery store and your routine. We will have to say goodbye to little luxury items and odds and ends that just make life easier and more pleasant. You just have to live with the basics and buy something when you need it, then possibly leave it behind.
Oh the packing! We are downsizing to the absolute basics. I think the hardest part of this is the transition period we are going through right now. The packing and deciding what comes and goes and how to get things back to the U.S. has been tricky but once we get over that hump, the traveling part should be a blast. We will forget about everything once it is out of sight. That is what happened to our stuff back in Utah when we moved to Amsterdam. It is kind of sickening to think about all of the money we have spent on things when you have to get rid of it or pack it away for a while. Don't get me started on all of the clothes we are getting rid of or the very few that we are shipping back to the U.S. We have to be okay with wearing the same clothes over and over or living without a stroller. Did I mention that my husband HAS to bring his guitar and melodica? And how am I supposed to choose only a handful of books for Colin to read? I guess I will be looking up the nearest library whenever we get into town. I feel like I am getting the hang of the art of packing. Everything has to be meticulously chosen. Those space saver bags are a good start.
What are the things we are bringing that are a bit peculiar to us? Besides the normal laptop, iPad, DSLR camera stuff, we are bringing the guitar, melodica, and tambourine bells. We want to keep music a part of our daily life. Andrew needs to brings some design books and we are bringing an Ugly Doll that we have had for years. Our beard and hair trimmer is a must for us crazy-haired people. We want the real life scriptures which are so heavy but must come. We will be bringing our book on "How To Raise An Emotionally Intelligent Child" to reference at these crucial times. Colin will have some drawing pencils, small soccer ball, 3 rolling vehicles, his stuffed elephant, his comfort blanket, and like 7 books. We will probably end up leaving things behind, realizing we may not really need it. It would be cool to look at what we brought and then compare it with what we eventually end up with. The contents of our bags will be a work in progress.
You can imagine that this lifestyle change also brings a new perspective on how we spend our money. We don't want to spend our money on items and things anymore. We won't have room but if we do buy something new because it is actually useful, so unique and a must have, we just have to throw something out to make room. We are trading things for memories.
Memories of exploring exotic destinations and doing things we have never done before will last a lifetime.
Believe me, I have thought so much about all of the sacrifices and changes we have to be okay with and we have realized that it is all going to be worth it. Such a life is exciting but we have to have the expectation that things are going to be very different knowing that this is what we signed up for. Right now I am all talk so once we get going I will have a better report.
How will this affect Colin?
This would be much more relaxed if we didn't have a baby, that's for sure. Colin will not have memories for another year and a half or so but he is still learning about adapting and trusting us as parents and he learns about what the world is like every day. Starting to live life simply and focusing on our relationship with each other at such a young age will be very character building for a little one. His language will be blossoming and that will also be shaped by what we do and see. He will be outside exploring and really involving himself in the world. That is the best way to learn. He will without a doubt be affected by these experiences and we don't feel that there would any negative results from raising our child this way. We are really excited to see how this changes Andrew and me as well. We want to do this now, for ourselves as well as for Colin. We don't want to keep waiting to live our life and follow our dreams. Life is happening right now so we want to make the best of it.
Colin makes friends with everyone. He has never gone through separation anxiety or stranger anxiety. He goes up to strangers and grabs their hands and leads them to play with him. I know that learning to play with new people and talk to strangers in new lands will be very fun to experience. Since he has been walking by himself, I allow him to run free and choose where he wants to go on a daily basis. I feel that Colin feels free to love and relate to people. Sometimes I watch him playing on the nearby playground with the immigrant kids who are children of refugees, not communicating with words but just smiling and laughing together. It makes my heart so happy to teach him about love for all humans. In the countries we visit, we will not know anyone so we really have to rely on talking to locals and reaching out to people. Colin teaches me to open up every day though. Children are magnificent at that. I think Colin will thrive in this atmosphere.
What about church?
We are so excited to take part in services around the world and meet members and investigators! Being missionaries, and also giving local service to the wards and branches we touch down in are ways we can contribute to the Lord's work all around the world. Some countries may have 1 branch that is hours away. Maybe we will choose a place to visit because it has a meetinghouse in the city. Even some countries don't have a presence of the church- when that happens, it is possible to partake of the sacrament in your own home with permission.
Isn't it scary living this freely?
This is actually one of the major reasons for changing our lifestyle. We want more time as a family and less stress. Lots of people get caught up in feeling secure with the adult things in life. The need to feel secure can ironically cause you much more misery and worry. Thankfully, we don't have any debt. We can't escape taxes obviously but we do want to escape everything else. We kinda just want to do an experiment and see what happens. Please live the way you want to because that is your business, but for us, we started at the basics and then asked ourselves why we have to own a house, have a 401K, and health insurance, dental appts, car payments, life insurance, car insurance, college savings, etc. These are all societal constructs and things we have grown up to believe are necessary. We decided that we didn't want to live with that much pressure. It takes away from just enjoying life with our family. I think people take on too much and feel that they have to be going and doing, worrying and preparing all the time. If we have learned one thing from living in Holland, it is to take way more time to relax and do nothing and just enjoy life. So many people in the world live simpler lives and got by happily without any of this "adult" stuff in the past. Yes, bad things can happen but how about I pay for it when it happens instead of paying someone monthly to insure me and hoping that something bad happens so I can get something out of paying all of that money. What if we love what we do so much that we don't retire? Most people work hard all of their lives so that they can retire to beautiful places and start really living their lives. We don't want to wait to see the world when we are old.
Lets talk about healthcare. As you may know, I am not a huge fan of modern medicines and take a natural approach to healthcare. So if anything crazy happens, there are clinics in every country and they are probably cheaper than what you would pay in the US. All we can do is pray that we don't have to have any emergency surgery. We aren't going to places that have horrible water and sanitation making them rampant with diseases. We aren't doing any risky things like sky diving. What if I got pregnant? I can find a midwife anywhere in the world because they have been delivering babies for millennia. I can pay out of pocket since that's what I had to do to birth Colin in the U.S. even though I shelled out plenty of money through health insurance. I can choose whatever country I want to do a birth in and stay there for a while to help ease the transition to motherhood with 2 kids. I just go to the nearest U.S. embassy and report the birth so that citizenship can be established if I want that. I could also just return to the U.S. and live near family if I needed support. That said, who knows when I will be pregnant again?
We can't make a decision based on the "what if?" Maybe there will be huge repercussions from the way we choose to live but if something comes up then we will deal with it. Andrew is the best problem solver I know. He is the idealist and dreamer and I am the realist and logistics operator. When you combine our powers, there is nothing we can't do.
Where do you want to go?
This is the fun part of traveling. We want to start it off somewhere totally different so we decided on Morocco for a while. I have yearned to go to that exotic land where they actually speak a language I can understand and communicate in. After that, nothing is sure. That is the beauty of it all. Freedom! We are thinking of heading east through Spain, Greece, Turkey and Jordan on our way to Nepal and India. Pretty much all of Asia is a must, especially the Southeast. We will make it to Australia and New Zealand and maybe a French Polynesian island before going over to South America and Central America. Oh and the Carribbean too. I have now realized that I am just about to list everywhere so I will stop and just end it with Cape Town, South Africa. If you are slowly traveling and want to see the world, this could take at least 5 years to see everything we want to see. Maybe we will make this lifestyle permanent. Who knows how long we will do this? That will depends on how much we like it. There is a lot of the world to see and we could keep this up for a long time. Oh man! I don't know what will happen but I am ecstatic about the unknown. I have the best travel companion in Andrew so wherever we are will be just awesome as long as I have my boys!
So this is just a post to explain the crazy ideas in our head and maybe help you see why we are doing what we are doing. It probably sounds crazy to most people but, to us, it speaks to our souls. When something speaks to your soul, you should follow it.
Why has the Beck family decided to be nomads, slowly traveling the world while Andrew freelances from his computer? Well, I guess this all started with a vision of freelancing and traveling that I had about 3 years ago. I realized Andrew could provide for us while being a crazy, freelancing artist so I then imagined us in a quirky old van, driving through the deserts of Morocco with a couple of sandy and dirty kids, watching the sunset over the desert dunes and learning from everyday adventures. There was this rush of excitement that came over me when I thought about being free from things and coming and going whenever and wherever we pleased. I realized that I longed to see the world and experience cultures in a deeper way than a week long visit.
Back in May we started thinking about possibly leave Holland in November when our resident permits are up. After months of wanting to do this but not knowing if we should, we revisited this dream and we have since realized that now is a great time to do this. Back in May we started reading The Alchemist, knowing nothing beforehand about the premise (a boy travels in search of his destiny). The messages in this book rang so true to us that it propelled us to stop all of the dreaming and go for it one day. Well that time is now!
We have almost been swayed by offers of higher paying salary jobs but it would mean more of the same lifestyle. We want to try something crazy and new and when you actually can work from home and you have wanderlust, it would be a shame to not give it a try. In the end, I couldn't live with myself if I never tried this out. Jobs will always be there when we want to settle down again. We really love that Andrew can spend more time with us so I'm not rushing to send him back to a studio. I want to have this experience now because it will definitely change us for the better, so why not sooner than later? Don't worry, I will definitely blog about what we experience and learn.
I'd say some people (the adventurous type) when hearing about how we are going to slowly travel the world, would say, "Oh man, I wish I could do that!" Yes, we are very fortunate that Andrew can work from anywhere as long as he has a computer. Many jobs don't allow for that and we are so grateful.
I'd say almost all of the mothers here that I have told our plans to have not reacted so excitedly. They have reacted unenthused and usually start asking logistics questions about how and why we would want to do this. It is normal to question this because it is very different and most people haven't even entertained this lifestyle as a possibility. For some reason these women go straight to the need for Colin to be in a school and then I drop the bomb that I am planning on homeschooling Colin and that I don't believe he needs school. According to the Dutch, Colin should be in a creche right now. I calm their minds by telling them that he wouldn't need to be in elementary school for another 4-5 years and that I was a teacher. This really makes me laugh because I don't think that I am more qualified to guide Colin through life and learning now that I got a certificate for education. I think some women dot put enough trust into their innate gift to nurture and teach. Anyway, we have had many different reactions to our announcement to move and we honestly thought everyone would think it was so cool and different that we are doing this. Not so, which is totally fine but it just goes to show us how very radical this is.
How is this going to be possible?
This isn't a life of vacation and glamourous, luxury hotels and restaurants. This is going to be us, living real life but doing it in new and exciting place where we can explore new cultures and sites. We will stay in one place or country for anywhere from 1-3 months, usually staying in apartments through vacation rental sites. I am not yet sure what traveling styles will suit us. People travel in different ways. Some go to different cities within a country while others stay put and travel from a central location. Maybe a local tells you about a place to rent. Some people RV, which is on our list to try. There are home sitting sites or organizations that give you a place to stay in return for working on their organic farms. There are plenty of accommodations to choose from and maybe sometimes we will try a resort or a hotel to mix things up. The possibilities are endless. We are taking it slow so that it is more affordable and we can stay sane.
What's cool is there are tons of families that do slow world traveling and blog about it so I have been able to read about their lives and get ideas about how to prepare and make it happen. There are plenty of freelancers who travel the world as well but less often with a family. My favorite family I have followed is this raw food family with 5 kids that travel and have an online business. Get to know the Sundance Family and see what I imagine our life to be like (not 5 kids though).
Many people have to get out of debt, save up, rent or sell their homes and then sell everything to get enough money to do something like this for a while. We have never settled down anywhere so the transition is not that extensive and Andrew will be working. By working, we allow this adventure to be as long or short as we want it to be and we do not have to be worried about running out of money or being stranded. We did the full-time freelance thing in NYC for 4 months before coming to Amsterdam and realized we loved all of the freedom and actually learned that we could get by living in expensive New York City by freelancing. Our rent is whatever housing we find in the new country. We aren't paying for hotels on top of rent like you would when vacationing. We aren't constantly eating out because we have no kitchen. People create different budgets but for us, we will spend some money on fun things to do and the only other new cost we would pay monthly is whatever travel costs we incur. For us, that is even less than the monthly amount that we were saving towards traveling anyway. This travel cost is another reason why we aren't flying to new places week after week, just occasionally. You will need to travel within the country but that is all there is for new costs and that is totally manageable. It really isn't that much different money-wise and is actually simpler and possibly cheaper depending on where you are. The world outside of Europe and America is much cheaper to live in. We won't pay anymore rental tax like we do here and we may or may not have travel insurance. We may have a small prepaid phone cost but we aren't paying $120/ month on 3G iPhone plans like we did in the US. We just want to live simply and focus on connecting with the world and connecting as a family. The stuff that actually matters.
Life is so flexible this way. One of the best parts is that we can avoid Winter for the rest of our lives if we wanted to. Our housing can be so diverse. One time we could live on a beach, then a cave, then a tropical bungalow or cabin in the woods. We can leave a place if we aren't liking it. Part of going on this adventure is that it will help us figure out what life we really want to lead and where that could be. If you find that you spent too much one month then you can go somewhere cheap to live and get by for the next month because you have that freedom of travel. There is no set amount for spending because each place will be different but that allows for you to be flexible according to any financial needs. For example, we want to eventually get to Australia but we will need to go through Southeast Asia and save up before heading over to the extremely expensive continent of Australia.
What is freelancing like?
About 4 years ago, Andrew told me he wanted to totally support us on freelancing as a Graphic Designer and he wasn't even planning on studying that yet. It was just a hobby that he wanted to pursue. I knew he could make crazy plans work out and had total faith in him. He had to step out on a limb and we kept afloat until I finished my degree and could contribute some income. During our first 2 years of marriage, Andrew had A LOT to learn about freelancing. He spent so much time contacting people and doing work for cheap so he could get the experience. He taught himself design programs and spent hours upon hours just trying to learn how to do things quicker and easier. He made lots of mistakes with clients and also learned about how to be successful. He went through the BFA Graphic Design program and gained important knowledge and skills to make him even better. He is an excellent communicator and a really hard worker. He puts forth extra effort to have a presence in the online design world and jobs just come to him now. He has spent the last 4 years learning the ins-and-outs of freelancing and it is really paying off. Illustration is actually probably his real passion and he gets lots of jobs for that too. Freelancing allows him to explore illustration more and figure out who he really wants to be as an artist. He is really happy to be able to just focus 100% on freelancing (something he only had the opportunity to do for a few months in NYC) so that he is not trying to balance two different work worlds. It will help him stay even more organized and efficient.
As a freelancer, you set your own hours. Andrew can work super hard one day because his creative juices are flowing and then he may have a creative block for a couple of hours and decide that we should go out and see a nearby waterfall for the afternoon. You can make more money by working harder one month and less money another month. There is no cap on how much money you can make a month. I am so proud of Andrew because every time we set a goal to financially reach, he always reaches it. We can go out by day and spend time with our son and then Andrew can work at night while Colin is asleep, if he wanted. He can take a 10 minute break and play with Colin or cuddle me. We can eat all our meals together. He gains an hour and a half by not commuting to work. He doesn't have to spend time getting ready in the morning and could lay in a hammock in his PJs and gets inspiration from the beauty of a sunset on the beach. Who invented the need for a 40 hour work week, by the way? When you are in charge of your schedule, you can create a system that is efficient, possibly less time consuming, and doesn't conform to the way society views work, or in Andrew's case, play. The freedom is tantalizing and makes all of the untantalizing business part of freelancing totally worth it. He gets a lot of work and he has the freedom to only choose projects he would love to work on, not just stuff to pay the bills. I do everything I can to make it so that he can keep work under control with the massive amount of e-mails he has to write, contracts, paperwork, invoices, and on time deliveries. I take care of the home and all the physical needs and travel plans while offering my secretarial services occasionally and oh yeah, there's this toddler that hangs around and undoes everything I just cleaned. I see us spending a lot of time outside. I am excited to be back in the freelance life, mainly because I have another adult around to talk with during the day. I also love that Andrew gets to spend more time with Colin.
As awesome and adventurous as this will be, there is also quite a trade-off and you have to decide if it is worth it. First of all, I think you have to have an easy-going personality and sense for adventure. I'm not even positive how I will react to everything but I am confident that I will enjoy it. We expect that there will be many bumps along the road just like life will bring you anyway. Things are not going to always go as planned. I am really trying to have that expectation so that I can turn those moments into funny and crazy memories where we just throw up our hands and say "Well, there's nothing we can do about it so let's go talk to that snake charmer and get his story". This mentality is a new one for me. I have definitely not always reacted like that (read the previous post, Let It Go: Unmet Expectations, Control, Worrying ).
We are doing something that can be really hard for some people and that is letting go of some comforts and familiarity. Life is much simpler and comfortable in our home here in Holland. I would guess that not very many mothers of a 19 month old would sign up for this much craziness. We will have a baby and that takes a lot of energy and upkeep. Colin is a happy and easy-going kid but he is still a baby and those are a lot of work no matter what temperament he is. I have to figure out how to potty train Colin at some point too. My baby will sleep in unfamiliar places and won't have but a couple of toys. There will not be a consistent cash flow and we will always be saying goodbye to any new friends we make. We will be thrust into unfamiliar places trying to communicate with people and wondering how to get around and how much money we are actually spending with our new currency. We are letting go of having a home equipped with all of our kitchen items specific to my cooking needs. Finding food will be quite an adventure since every mom knows that you get attached to YOUR grocery store and your routine. We will have to say goodbye to little luxury items and odds and ends that just make life easier and more pleasant. You just have to live with the basics and buy something when you need it, then possibly leave it behind.
Oh the packing! We are downsizing to the absolute basics. I think the hardest part of this is the transition period we are going through right now. The packing and deciding what comes and goes and how to get things back to the U.S. has been tricky but once we get over that hump, the traveling part should be a blast. We will forget about everything once it is out of sight. That is what happened to our stuff back in Utah when we moved to Amsterdam. It is kind of sickening to think about all of the money we have spent on things when you have to get rid of it or pack it away for a while. Don't get me started on all of the clothes we are getting rid of or the very few that we are shipping back to the U.S. We have to be okay with wearing the same clothes over and over or living without a stroller. Did I mention that my husband HAS to bring his guitar and melodica? And how am I supposed to choose only a handful of books for Colin to read? I guess I will be looking up the nearest library whenever we get into town. I feel like I am getting the hang of the art of packing. Everything has to be meticulously chosen. Those space saver bags are a good start.
What are the things we are bringing that are a bit peculiar to us? Besides the normal laptop, iPad, DSLR camera stuff, we are bringing the guitar, melodica, and tambourine bells. We want to keep music a part of our daily life. Andrew needs to brings some design books and we are bringing an Ugly Doll that we have had for years. Our beard and hair trimmer is a must for us crazy-haired people. We want the real life scriptures which are so heavy but must come. We will be bringing our book on "How To Raise An Emotionally Intelligent Child" to reference at these crucial times. Colin will have some drawing pencils, small soccer ball, 3 rolling vehicles, his stuffed elephant, his comfort blanket, and like 7 books. We will probably end up leaving things behind, realizing we may not really need it. It would be cool to look at what we brought and then compare it with what we eventually end up with. The contents of our bags will be a work in progress.
You can imagine that this lifestyle change also brings a new perspective on how we spend our money. We don't want to spend our money on items and things anymore. We won't have room but if we do buy something new because it is actually useful, so unique and a must have, we just have to throw something out to make room. We are trading things for memories.
Memories of exploring exotic destinations and doing things we have never done before will last a lifetime.
Believe me, I have thought so much about all of the sacrifices and changes we have to be okay with and we have realized that it is all going to be worth it. Such a life is exciting but we have to have the expectation that things are going to be very different knowing that this is what we signed up for. Right now I am all talk so once we get going I will have a better report.
How will this affect Colin?
This would be much more relaxed if we didn't have a baby, that's for sure. Colin will not have memories for another year and a half or so but he is still learning about adapting and trusting us as parents and he learns about what the world is like every day. Starting to live life simply and focusing on our relationship with each other at such a young age will be very character building for a little one. His language will be blossoming and that will also be shaped by what we do and see. He will be outside exploring and really involving himself in the world. That is the best way to learn. He will without a doubt be affected by these experiences and we don't feel that there would any negative results from raising our child this way. We are really excited to see how this changes Andrew and me as well. We want to do this now, for ourselves as well as for Colin. We don't want to keep waiting to live our life and follow our dreams. Life is happening right now so we want to make the best of it.
Colin makes friends with everyone. He has never gone through separation anxiety or stranger anxiety. He goes up to strangers and grabs their hands and leads them to play with him. I know that learning to play with new people and talk to strangers in new lands will be very fun to experience. Since he has been walking by himself, I allow him to run free and choose where he wants to go on a daily basis. I feel that Colin feels free to love and relate to people. Sometimes I watch him playing on the nearby playground with the immigrant kids who are children of refugees, not communicating with words but just smiling and laughing together. It makes my heart so happy to teach him about love for all humans. In the countries we visit, we will not know anyone so we really have to rely on talking to locals and reaching out to people. Colin teaches me to open up every day though. Children are magnificent at that. I think Colin will thrive in this atmosphere.
What about church?We are so excited to take part in services around the world and meet members and investigators! Being missionaries, and also giving local service to the wards and branches we touch down in are ways we can contribute to the Lord's work all around the world. Some countries may have 1 branch that is hours away. Maybe we will choose a place to visit because it has a meetinghouse in the city. Even some countries don't have a presence of the church- when that happens, it is possible to partake of the sacrament in your own home with permission.
Isn't it scary living this freely?
This is actually one of the major reasons for changing our lifestyle. We want more time as a family and less stress. Lots of people get caught up in feeling secure with the adult things in life. The need to feel secure can ironically cause you much more misery and worry. Thankfully, we don't have any debt. We can't escape taxes obviously but we do want to escape everything else. We kinda just want to do an experiment and see what happens. Please live the way you want to because that is your business, but for us, we started at the basics and then asked ourselves why we have to own a house, have a 401K, and health insurance, dental appts, car payments, life insurance, car insurance, college savings, etc. These are all societal constructs and things we have grown up to believe are necessary. We decided that we didn't want to live with that much pressure. It takes away from just enjoying life with our family. I think people take on too much and feel that they have to be going and doing, worrying and preparing all the time. If we have learned one thing from living in Holland, it is to take way more time to relax and do nothing and just enjoy life. So many people in the world live simpler lives and got by happily without any of this "adult" stuff in the past. Yes, bad things can happen but how about I pay for it when it happens instead of paying someone monthly to insure me and hoping that something bad happens so I can get something out of paying all of that money. What if we love what we do so much that we don't retire? Most people work hard all of their lives so that they can retire to beautiful places and start really living their lives. We don't want to wait to see the world when we are old.
Lets talk about healthcare. As you may know, I am not a huge fan of modern medicines and take a natural approach to healthcare. So if anything crazy happens, there are clinics in every country and they are probably cheaper than what you would pay in the US. All we can do is pray that we don't have to have any emergency surgery. We aren't going to places that have horrible water and sanitation making them rampant with diseases. We aren't doing any risky things like sky diving. What if I got pregnant? I can find a midwife anywhere in the world because they have been delivering babies for millennia. I can pay out of pocket since that's what I had to do to birth Colin in the U.S. even though I shelled out plenty of money through health insurance. I can choose whatever country I want to do a birth in and stay there for a while to help ease the transition to motherhood with 2 kids. I just go to the nearest U.S. embassy and report the birth so that citizenship can be established if I want that. I could also just return to the U.S. and live near family if I needed support. That said, who knows when I will be pregnant again?
We can't make a decision based on the "what if?" Maybe there will be huge repercussions from the way we choose to live but if something comes up then we will deal with it. Andrew is the best problem solver I know. He is the idealist and dreamer and I am the realist and logistics operator. When you combine our powers, there is nothing we can't do.
Where do you want to go?
So this is just a post to explain the crazy ideas in our head and maybe help you see why we are doing what we are doing. It probably sounds crazy to most people but, to us, it speaks to our souls. When something speaks to your soul, you should follow it.
Let It Go: Unmet Expectations, Control, Worrying
Sometimes I need to write those "AHA" moments down. This one is very personal and totally real. I felt like this was a break through for me and I want to remember it. Nothing is as cut and dry as it may sound. Writing this down helps me to be more introspective and is a good start for me.
A couple of weeks ago Andrew and I had yet another talk about how I can be such a grinch and seem so unhappy at times. This isn't all of the time of course. More recently this has happened because we are making lots of plans and preparations for moving and changing our lifestyle. Sometimes I get hyper focused on accomplishing things and get overwhelmed by doing things I don't want to do. This in turn makes me negative. I sat there thinking about how I can change because I hate feeling that way and being that way around my family. I prayed so hard for the millionth time about this and I finally had a revelation! I have a very hard time pinpointing my feelings and what has caused them so I finally felt clarity in this realm.
I realized that I felt like I had to be the serious, get things done person in the marriage and took on all of the burdens and worries about how to make life just right, while Andrew gets to makes sweet art all day. I felt resentful about that and also about having a better brain for logistics and organization than Andrew, and therefore feeling the need to deal with all of the responsibilities to maintain life. I felt like I couldn't share any of the burden of stay-at-home-wifehood. There was such a distinct separation of responsibilities and I wasn't sharing any of them. If I ask Andrew to do something then that takes away from time he could be working and when I am capable of doing a task myself it shouldn't matter that I don't want to do it, I should because I have the time and it has to get done.
I don't go out and have fun with friends (I guess you have to have friends that would go out with you first of all), I don't take time for myself and I don't usually like to spend money on fun stuff. I usually say yes to something because I can do it even though it would be inconvenient or hard for me and make me sad to do it. I feel that I just have to toughen up and get through something because I have to be strong. I am the type of woman that has already thought of everything and has dinner on the table exactly at 6 so that Colin can take a bath by 6:22 and be getting ready for bed by 6:45. Before going to bed, all the dishes are done, toys are away and my oats are soaking for my morning breakfast. I am constantly checking on Andrew to make sure he has remembered to do this and that. I felt that I had to always be thinking responsibly and efficiently or something might slip through the cracks. I am wound up so tight about everything. I can be so cold sometimes. Don't worry, I'm not like this all of the time and I do smile and laugh and play but just not as much as we feel I should. I want to strive to be able to find joy in every single moment of my life. The point is that I am pretty much constantly worrying and preparing because I feel it is my duty to make everything happen the right way. This makes it harder for my brain to turn off robot-mode and focus on being warm and loving to my family during every day events. Yes, we have named it robot-mode so that we can label it when I get that way.
This is what I believed and not what Andrew wanted me to ever feel. These were expectations I set for myself. Maybe this is shocking when I am such a natural, open-minded person who is married to a rebellious artist. You may think that the free-spirited lifestyle we have hasn't always been accompanied with a "whatever, man" mentality from me. Unfortunately, I don't let loose very easily. Funny enough, I long to be like that. Andrew is great at it. That's why we are great for each other.
So this "AHA" moment came right after I had to rush to get the diapers in the wash so that they would all be dry on time and get the chicken started so that it would be ready on time. As I was doing this, Colin spilled a water bottle all over my cardboard farm set and had made quite a mess. I was not in a position to welcome yet another thing to clean up as you can imagine. I saw the mess, stopped, and realized that it didn't matter. No one cares (Andrew certainly doesn't care) if it stays there except for me so I just let the responsibility to clean it up go. The clarity just came rolling in after that. Colin continued to make a mess in the house while we played and had a 2 hour dance party. I fed him a peanut butter and honey sandwich on sourdough spelt bread (a treat) instead of taking 15 minutes to prepare our usual lunch of salad. When Andrew got home, I really wanted to talk to him and be alone with him but usually I feel that I have to always be aware of what Colin is doing. I locked us in our room for like 20 minutes and had one-on-one time with my husband, while the baby was awake and playing! I never just give myself freedom to do something for myself like that during the day. I am always thinking of my family members needs.
Andrew is happy to share responsibilities and wants to lighten my load. He is willing to clean things up around the house and take on some of the things I don't want to. I don't have to do everything by myself. I knew those things but I didn't really allow myself to share the load. It helps me to just hear from Andrew that he doesn't need me to do everything as perfectly as I think I should. Knowing that his expectations were not nearly as high as mine, helped me let go a little more. I am still trying to change myself for the better but I see this as a great turning point for me. Andrew starting to freelance gives me more support during the day which is an awesome change as well. I realized that this travel stuff and transition to this new lifestyle didn't have to go perfectly and whatever happens, I can deal with it when it happens. I felt free and happy for the first time in a really long time.
I have started to let go of worrying so much about being efficient and perfect. I, like I'm sure many other people, have really high expectations for myself. Frankly, I am really smart, organized and capable of doing everything really well. That is a lot of pressure to live up to. When expectations and potential are unmet, that is when I find that I become the most unhappy. Lowering the expectations that I have created for myself and just taking a breather and telling myself that it really doesn't matter to the outside world or my family, has really helped me have a happier perspective on life. It has also helped me pay more attention to my relationship with my family. I am trying to have more fun instead of letting all of the responsibilities burden me and turn me into a curmudgeon. I get caught up in doing and preparing so much that I forget to relax and play with the people I am doing this for. Doing things you don't really want to do on a daily basis (responsible mom stuff) can be a downer but I can choose how I react to things. I am trying to tell myself that I don't have to control everything and that I can choose to be happy about every part of life. I am reminded of the commandment to endure it well and act for ourselves.
Let's be honest, I have an incredible life and somehow I still find things to complain about. I have been living with the mentality of "When this happens, then I will be happy." Ahhhhhh, I hate doing that and I have been trying to focus on living in the present, not waiting for future plans to make everything perfect. Perfection will never happen! As I let go of that need to control and worry and plan for things that haven't even happened yet, I am freeing myself to have more fun and joy in my life. I need to be better at not letting unmet expectations get me down and I am so grateful that this epiphany came to me recently because I really feel like I am more ready to embrace this change in lifestyle of slow travel which will be full of twists and turns.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Colin Turns A Year And A Half Old
A month ago, Colin turned 18 months old. He is advancing and learning so much. Every day he tries new words and things. Her is a smattering of pics from every day life taken over the course of the last month.
When we head outside, Colin always wants his hat. It delights people to see him in it. It makes him seem all grown up. This was a lovely outfit one day.
Andrew went out to the city center with us one day and got to see how Colin just makes friends with random strangers like the girl on the stone boat with him in this pic.
He is trying to get the hang of blowing into the pipes and playing the keyboard of the melodica.
If you could't tell, we are growing out his hair. The Dutch love informing me that he can't see and I need to cut it. He is also being mistaken for a girl. I gotta get used to it because there will be plenty more of that once it gets even longer.
He's usually busy trying to see how much stuff he can destroy and what he can climb onto and then possibly fall off of and hurt himself.
Daddy is always making him laugh.
It has been rainy recently so we have put on our jackets, boots, and umbrella for a bit of puddle jumping.
He really likes putting on my heels, and all shoes in general.
It is the stage where he is discovering rolling vehicles. They are all so cool to him but his favorite is a motorcycle. He is slowly turning more toward an obsession with tractors too. Andrew found a motorcycle magazine and Colin adores looking through it and yelling "moto!".
He's just pretty much all around adorable!
Our Sisters Got Married!
My best friend and little sister, Meredith got married in August. We had to fly all the way back to Utah for it but it was worth it to see all of my family. The wedding was amazing and beautiful. We had a really fun bachelorette party and also got to attend Andrew's sister's wedding. There are so many good memories captured in these photos.
Andrew's siblings at Jenny's wedding. It rained right when the were finishing and everyone got soaked. Jenny didn't care and it made for a very memorable day. Somehow Erin found shelter quickly cause there's not a drop on her.
We were quite wet
Meredith got an awesome bachelorette party. We had a limo take us to go shopping for her at Victoria Secret and then dinner.
We all put in our 2 cents but it was a really hard decision. She had a rockin' body and looked hot in everything. Dang girl!
The next day was when Meredith received the endowment and it was wonderful to be in the temple with my family.
We had a lovely wedding dinner the night before the wedding. I was able to say a little maid of honor speech which I am so glad that Joy recorded.
Wedding Day!
The Salt Lake City temple with my boys
My incredible siblings
My rock, my siblings
Our parents
Sisters
All of the bridesmaids
Then the party started and the Rodgers clan was all about dat bass!
All day I tried to soak up every moment with Meredith. So many things came together in life for this day to happen. I have witnessed so much and been a part of her life from the beginning. I didn't want to let go and I didn't want to say goodbye. Living far away from the girl is HARD, and I had to hand her off to her husband, knowing he would take really good care of her. He treats her like a princess and I am so grateful for him.
We sent them off with sparklers as their new life began. I cried as all of the feelings from that day washed over me.
I was so happy to see family and be a part of this magnificent day.
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