Sexuality Discussion.... Again

Wednesday, Sept. 23- The other day in class I realized why sex is so sacred. Sex is for pleasure but its main purpose is for procreating. It is an incredible process that fully incorporates husband, wife, and God. We are able to give the spirit child in heaven that God created, a physical body and make it possible for that child to enter mortality on earth. God trusts us to use those powers correctly and allows us to be part of his creating process. He creates the spirit and we provide the physical body. How cool! Life is like a testing ground for the creation of posterity and eternal parentage in the celestial kingdom. God's job description is an eternal Dad who brings to pass the immortality and eternal life of his children. We want to be like him and must be eternally sealed to a spouse to be exalted and partake in eternal parentage like him. Woah, so exciting. Last Friday I spent time reconnecting with Andrew. I hate it when he is distant. My goal is to never have that happen. It's amazing what talking, laughing, and listening to each other can do for our relationship. It reminds us why we are in love and how lonely and unfullfilled we would be without each other. Man is not meant to be alone, that is for sure. We are all here to progress and that is what the challenge of marriage brings: a different perspective and opportunity to be selfless and work together with someone you love. Love is like the greatest feeling ever and I could have never imagined how God given it is until I actually experienced it. Saturday I watched the Gator football game with Andrew. I taught him about the game of football. It is very sweet of him to pay attention to and try to understand something that I really enjoy. Deep down he likes the spinning and the tackling and the hurting. Sunday we had our french house girls over with their men, including the recently engaged Shanda and Tony. Yay! We played Curses at Meredith's apartment. We love that game and laughed SOOOO hard. We worked a little more on the song that we are writing for our reception. I am super excited because I have an incredibly talented fiance with whom I get to create and awesome love song with. No way. I love all the things he exposes me to and encourages me to explore and take part in. We recently recommitted ourselves to keeping the physical rules and then quickly broke them. This was the last time I wanted to feel like I was too weak to keep up my part of the commitment we made with God. We set these rules so that we wouldn't arouse feelings that should be preserved for sex within marriage. We never have broken the big no-no rules but Satan tries to lead us away little by little, small deviations. He works hard on us because he knows we have strong passion for each other and long to show that, especially since we are very sexually passionate people. I brought up how I am disappointed that we broke some rules and there was disconnection between us because we both felt remorse for our weaknesses and needed to talk things out. That remorse was enough punishment. We could have walked away and said nothing but confronting it was way better for us. We need to trust and support each other to keep our commitment. I hate that being forbidden to show our love in a sexual way causes frustration and as in this case a disconnected feeling because there are so many boundaries, but in marriage it can be the most unifying act. I have never before been so tempted to break a serious coommandment. The first time I felt this way I remember that I had never before felt my reasoning (which is very straight pathed and solid) being overtaken by my bodily urges and hormones. It is a dangerous and unique part of me that I have had to learn to control. I am so glad that we began talking about physical boundaries months before our engagement stage. I thought recently about how if we had not grown up with the mentality and decision already made that we would not engage in premarital sex, we could easily give in to forbidden sexual acts by now. It's crazy because this is an important test that God is giving us that will only last for less than 3 more months and then all the self control will go out the window. God has so many blessings and great works for us to do but we must keep the commandments and be married in the temple. We must be strong and keep an eternal perspective on things. I want those blesssings so badly and I will do everything it takes to reach that potential.