Well today was an emotionally crazy day for both of us.
I realized I did not receive the job that I interviewed for a couple of weeks ago. It was the last French teaching job I had seen and sent in an application for. I would have LOVED to teach there but they offered it to a girl who graduated with me. Now I am starting to accept that I will not be teaching for a year and if I apply next year there will be just as many applicants and I will not have furthered my experience in teaching French. I don't know what to do with my life right now. I guess I could try for any job in the world right now since I have no real goals for the next year. I can continue substituting but I don't really feel like I'm using my teaching skills all that often, plus I went to college so I don't get paid only $10/hour. It is not a steady job and sometimes it is really boring. I will keep it if I have no other option. I have sent in some applications for tutoring jobs. That might pay more but I'm not going to be helping kids with French which is what really makes me happy. There are other aspects of teaching that might be available like a teacher's aide or something. I just feel like I am not being given the opportunity to use this awesome skillset that God has given me and that I have worked hard to get better at. It is so frustrating and it makes me sad. I want to have a job with benefits and be busy. Does that mean I need to look elsewhere? Maybe God is trying to tell me to leave my professional goals behind and focus on starting a family. I had it all worked out so that I could teach for at least two years, Andrew would graduate, and then we would start a family. I want more time with just Andrew and I really want a big girl job. Uggghhh! I know that things don't always work out like you think. I am just trying to come to terms with reality and how it is not meeting my expectations at all. I will then come to peace with this and do what I feel shall come next on the "Adventures of Ashley."
Andrew has been working on the idea of expanding Vada. He did not know how to make it happen but he has too much demand and not enough resources to supply that demand. A once in a lifetime opportunity has arrived where he is teaming up with his coworker Russell who will run the business and finance part of their creative studio. Russell's Dad will be investing the money to help the business get going. All of Andrew's biggest fears about expanding his business have been calmed by getting other people involved to help him. It is really amazing and really scary for him! I have all the faith in him that he can make this take off and really happen. Like I have said before, he is such a good people person and knows how to make his visions a reality. Vada will become an LLC, he will hire more designers, programmers, illustrators, etc, they will be renting out space and creating a studio for the team to work in: All the works! This is going to be legitimate and Andrew is going to do so well. It is a little bit too much for him to emotionally handle because it seems too good to be true and he has never dealt with so much money before. I am proud of him for going out there and doing this. I know he will rock it!
I'm sorry about the job situation, I wish I could hire you to teach my kids! unfortunately, I haven't got any yet... There is the possibility of my work needing a project coordinator for the french team, which isn't really exciting but it does require a decent knowledge of French, so you'd at least use it some? You should check it out if you're interested: https://www.multiling.com/Careers.aspx
ReplyDeleteOh and also, Andrew (my Andrew :) was looking into interning at eagle mountain a while back and they have this awesome program to give a boost to new businesses by offering free rent (incentive for businesses to set up there). http://www.emcity.org/index.asp?Type=B_BASIC&SEC={0A956C62-CB17-44EA-81EC-F1101581AB0C}
ReplyDeleteYour Andrew may want to check it out. Eagle Mountain isn't right next door but it's not crazy far either!
Ashley-for what it's worth I have totally been there with the frustrations of finding a job. The only hopeful thing is, like you said, there must be something in the future that you are being kept open for. I don't know if it's a family, or an awesome job you'll love, or something totally unexpected-but Heavenly Father can help you sort that out. I interviewed for a job at BYU that I thought I wanted soo bad. I was willing to look past the bad things (it was only part time, BYU doesn't pay great, I would have had to put my masters on hold), but in the end they gave it to someone else. I was really disappointed, but ended up getting my job at Harvard where I could work fulltime, have great benefits, and finish school (with tuition reimbursement from my employer). A total blessing in the end.
ReplyDeleteI love you and I'll pray for you too!