What Are My Passions And What Is My Role As A Mother?

This post is about language acquisition, my passion for teaching languages, teaching culture, my goal of learning new languages, the American Education System vs. Homeschooling, and my role as an educator to my children. A lot, I know but I feel it is all connected. First, I wanted to share a bit about my journey toward learning French because I don't think I have ever written a whole post about a passion that has led to my chosen career path as a French Teacher.

Why Did I Choose French?

We start with 9 year old Ashley sitting in her 4th grade class and longingly looking at the two French boys in her class, Francois and Christian. She finds out they take French lessons from a lady in her neighborhood so Ashley wants to take them tooso she can spend more time with them. Those were some fun times! I gained this huge desire to see and experience France someday. 

As a middle schooler, my favorite class ever was 7th grade Geography. I couldn't get enough of the assignments. I loved memorizing the locations of all the African countries and learning random facts like how San Marino is its own country (actually a micro state) in the middle of Italy. I guess learning the song that helps you memorize the U.S. states was the first time that I got a taste of geography. I still LOVE the challenge of memorizing things (like the periodic table in 5th grade or all the U.S. presidents for my U.S. History class). On road trips I would practice capitals and state nicknames with my Dad (I was a dream child). My favorite game was trivial pursuit (trivia is my FAVORITE!!!!) and I kicked everyones butt when it came to geography. I still do.

My mind loves this stuff and I have always done well in subjects that require memorization of facts. This skill has helped me a lot in learning a language. I see a word and can rewrite it perfectly, no spelling flaws. I have found myself doing it with Dutch and let me tell you, those words are not short!  I do great with auditory sounds thanks to my musical talents. This makes me good at learning languages.3

Once I got into French class in High School, things were a breeze and I wanted to learn faster and have more homework and assignments. Test days were my favorite because I wanted to challenge myself and see how well I could do. My teacher was an inc1Sredible Swiss woman and played a huge part in my choice to become a high school French teacher. Her name was ironically Madame Lopez.

I wanted to become fluent in French so I continued to take courses in college but never thought of making a career out of this knowledge. After jumping around a bit with majors, I tutored Andrew for his French class and he helped me see that I explain language very well. I was scared about taking on the thankless job of teaching, bad pay, and the daunting task of feeling fluent, but I went for it and I am so glad I kept learning. After a study abroad in Paris, living in a French immersion apartment for a year, and continued efforts to talk and teach whether it was helping at the MTC, reading out loud to myself, or watching and listening to French multimedia, I have done a great job of keeping up my French. Learning is a lifetime pursuit. You don't need to be in school to learn.

Language Acquisition and Language Teaching

I have found that teaching my child my second language has really opened my eyes to language acquisition in general. I get to see first-hand the whole process from birth. I have said the word "manger" probably 10 times a day since his birth, yet he has never said it and has rather picked up on simpler words like "hi" or "yay" or "ja" as they say in Dutch. The phonemes come first and then eventually he will put them together.  I am so used to teaching in secondary school and expect that repetition of the nature he receives would do the trick and "manger " would be his first word. Not so but of course I kinda already knew that. I am so excited to analyze this process more and can't even wait to see what cute "franglais" words he comes up with. He is my own little experiment.

I found that a native English speaker usually isn't a good teacher of English because they usually haven't studied the language rules or learned it as a second language like the pupil is. They naturally acquired it through hearing it and most people have to be taught explicit rules after a certain age. That is why, usually, I teach French better than a native would because I know the exact process that my pupil is going through. I can anticipate his thought process and I have amazing learning tools to share to make the process easier because I learned it the same way they are. I love giving someone the ability to communicate and express himself and I still find joy in learning to do that myself. I feel really proud of myself when I tell a Mormon that I didn't learn French by serving a mission and rather learned it through years and years of schooling. A lot of times they are surprised and ask why I know French, like it is weird to just learn a language in the U.S. because you want to.

Side Note
The number one thing that you NEVER say to a language teacher is "Oh yeah, I took _________ (insert language ) in High School, but I forgot everything". You just pretty much told me that my job serves no purpose. Thanks! A lot of times when I get that response, I lecture them about why that happened to them and how they missed a great opportunity but can still learn a language now. Do you know how easy it is to practice a language with natives now that technology is so cool? I'm SICK of that reaction to my profession.

Culture

Culture is the ideas, customs, and social behavior of a particular people or society. It is reflected in their history, art, education and everyday life.

The cultural differences sometimes hinder our relationships with people here in Holland. Pretty impressive that we can still feel so out of place in Europe, a continent removed enough from America but not radically culture shocking like remote African villages. I could learn Dutch really well but I still won't be able to relate about tv shows I watched as a kid. There is a different upbringing between us. We have found senses of humor to be very different because allusions to things in our culture goes right over their heads. Andrew is hilarious but not as hilarious to his coworkers as he is to me.

I am enthralled by the idea that language is directly related to a culture. Americans have the word "channel surfing" because we are bored and need to flip through channels to do something and look for entertainment. You won't find the word "channel surfing" in the Tupi languages of the Amazon. Your language reflects the way you live and what you value, including how much you value it. I shared in an earlier post about the word "gezellig" in Dutch, which is used very frequently. Simply put, it means "a cozy feeling". The Dutch use it to describe an experience with friends. I have found that by understanding that word, I then understand the value of frequent cozy gatherings with friends here.

In my education as a teacher I learned fascinating things about how to teach culture. It is so fun to help my students have a personal encounter with another way of life. Have you ever seen the documentary "Baraka"? It is a beautiful film with no words but rather teaching you through observations. It invites you to analyze why people live differently. I love that film! It is one of the things that adds to my constantly expanding desire to see the world. 

Our family wants to travel because of our love for learning about different cultures and perspectives on living. In a classroom you can get a sense of the humanity of other people but if you travel to those places, it brings them to life once you have an experience with the culture first hand. 

You may travel and see something exotic and foreign but you have to be the kind of person who doesn't decide that it is weird just because you don't do that in your country. If you see a Sufist Whirling Dervish spinning endlessly in circles, you might think they are crazy because that is what crazy people may do in your country. As a teacher I guide a student to look at the products (e.g. tools, food, clothes), practices (e.g. verbal and non-verbal language, actions and interactions, taboos), and then lastly ask you to analyze the perspectives (values, beliefs) of the culture that can be gained from learning about the products and practices. There is so much meaning behind this ritual of the Whirling Dervishes and there is so much to discuss just about this one action that you see. You are then prompted to learn why and then eventually come to an understanding of those people. 

That is what I love about teaching culture to adolescents. You help selfish teenagers to stop focusing all on themselves and their lives and help them understand someone else. I get to invite them to learn a practice or product and then I always ask them if they would like to incorporate it into their life now. They do not have to live in a Native American village to share a similar perspective about the sacredness of nature. Your eyes are opened to a new way of living and you are asked if you agree or not, and then you can change. I am constantly learning because of this and I want my children to learn about how they want to lead their lives by exploring the world and its cultures.

You Can Still Learn New Languages

Since I was young, I have always had this desire to travel but now I have made it a goal and guiding principle in my life. If I am enthralled by this language learning process and have a pretty good ear for languages, and then plan on traveling a lot in my life, learning new languages is obviously the best way of using my spare time while Colin naps and after he goes to bed (while Andrew is freelancing). 

I was so afraid of really starting the language learning process over again and told myself I should just focus on French. I also thought it would be too hard to find resources and teach myself. These have been convenient excuses for too long.

I watched this video and it struck a deep cord with me. So deep, in fact, that I started crying a bit. I knew right then that this is what I needed to do with my time. 



So what languages to begin with? I already know some Spanish and feel that will be so useful for me so I will continue with that. I also think it would be good to branch out to different language families and work on German and Arabic to begin with. So wish me luck! This is going to be fun. I hear that once you have learned a 2nd language, they get easier as you go on. I will probably speak everything with a French accent. I actually found myself speaking Dutch with a French accent and then once I realized you roll the "r" I corrected it so it is doable to shake my accent. 

The American Education System VS. Homeschooling

Culture is something that cannot fully be taught in a school. There are so many principles that shape a persons character that cannot be taught in school. In fact, a lot of character is squashed in the American educational system. I had a ton of issues with the system in just my short 3 years of teaching. 

We are reading this book which has helped us decide that I will be homeschooling our children. That will be a different post someday but the book is called "The Underground History of American Education" by John Taylor Gatto. He is an ex-teacher who got sick of the school system and tears it apart. I always love a good book written by a rebel. It has gotten me thinking that we really need to redefine what schooling can do for a child and that it isn't just all about putting our kids on a factory conveyer belt and popping out workers tailored for certain professions. You are creating a citizen of the world so don't make your child feel like a failure because he didn't memorize an equation or get that multiple choice question which was actually designed to trick you. There are so many things wrong with conventional schooling and if the U.S. isn' going to change it then I have to create my own curriculum.

Now don't go jumping to conclusions about our decision to homeschool right away until you have fully learned the pros and cons of both sides. It can be done really well and I have seen very impressive results from homeschooling. It can also be done really badly and I'm obviously not advocating for those people. 

I see so much potential for the educating of our children that I cannot waste a minute of my children's time in the institution of a public school (at least in America). Good thing that homeschooling works really well with a traveling family. I am also really grateful that Andrew has a talent that can make him money while being mobile and that is a globally sought after trade. 

My Role As An Educator In My Home

When I got to Holland, I was often bombarded with the question "and what do you do?" or "are you going to work here?" from people that knew I was a mom. In the U.S. being a mom is usually associated with staying at home so I was taken aback that they needed to ask me that. I love that they treat me like a person who has interests beyond being a mom but I was used to the American approach. I have even paid attention to my cordial conversations with Americans here and I don't ever get asked off the bat what my profession is or even my interests. People here expect that you will go straight back to work after your maternity leave. The Dutch feel it is important to have a balanced life and staying at home is not balanced. The French feel it is a top priority for a woman to show her child that her world doesn't revolve around the child and that she has time to herself and her hobbies. They also feel you need a skill to contribute to society after your child grows up. 

At first, the questions about going to work bothered me because they didn't understand why I would stay at home. One time a woman who had no children asked me what I do all day? Oh, là, là! She will never understand my life. I got really angry about that because she said it like I probably sit on the couch all day and eat ice cream in my pajamas. I started pitying myself because every time this conversation came up, I got this feeling from the person that I was making a destructive decision to stay at home.  

During the past 6 months, I have really tried to ask myself if not going to work is really what I want because I totally understand these perspectives and I actually envy working moms at times for not having all of the home responsibilities and getting a break from their child. I have contemplated getting a job up until a month ago. I had a bit of a "what am I doing with my life?" crisis where I felt like I had to keep up my resume with paid jobs and loved the idea of sharing my child and house responsibilities with Andrew. Tutoring is the closest viable option while living abroad since my job is a bit harder to come by around here.

So after months of contemplating my role in life (next to cultivating a strong relationship with my husband), I am at total peace with my huge role as an educator in my home. Colin needs all the love and attention he can get from me, his mother, not other people for 8 hours of the day while I get 4 hours with him. I am teaching him French so why would I put him in a daycare where they speak Dutch. I am also still breastfeeding and wouldn't want to give that up. We aren't going to be staying in Holland long enough where finding a job would be worth it. I love the idea of putting him in a "creche" for the purposes of socializing because I still need to make up for that somehow right now, but not enough of a reason to discount everything else.

It is hard to not get caught up in the way the world views motherhood. I started to feel this empowerment that I could work and be an awesome Mom, and wife, and keep up a home and somehow make everything balanced. There are women that do this and it works for them. I couldn't see what amazing benefits this would give me besides more money and a break from Colin that would be WAY too long. The job description would be way less cool and rewarding. So....

My main role will be in educating my children about everything I have written about in this post, plus so much more, obviously. I LOVE teaching and helping children explore ideas so homeschooling is perfect for me.  I am my child's guide through life and I want to be able to give him my complete attention. Anyway, I would hate returning to a classroom of kids who probably don't want to be there when I could be putting my efforts toward raising an incredibly powerful citizen of the world. 

Can you see now why I am doing exactly what I love? I do and I am so glad that I have realized that.