I'm Pregnant! (What Life Has Really Been Like Over The Past Couple Of Months)

I am Pregnant! You can shout out loud for joy. Making a baby is a miracle!

I live in an area where everywhere you turn you see a pregnant woman. I sometimes feel like it is routine to hear that someone else is pregnant. It try to remind myself that making a baby is a miracle and blessing that God has bestowed upon us and that making a baby is actually one of the major reasons that Andrew and I got married. We are starting our eternal family!

We have been preparing ourselves every day of our lives to be parents. We collected do's and don'ts subconsciously and consciously for years. We discussed some basic things when deciding to get married and we have even read a parenting book called "Positive Discipline" and discussed our approach to parenting for years. We really recommend this book. I have been researching French parenting as well and am interested in incorporating some approaches there.

So Andrew and I are going to be pretty awesome parents and let me tell you why. Sometimes spontaneously we role play where one of us is the kid and the other is the parent and we improv this dialogue that challenges the parent to think on his/her feet pertaining to how we are going to handle a situation in parenting. The other day I was riding a bike and Andrew was running. For some reason I was falling off and having a hard time so Andrew took the role of Daddy and I became little Jimmy riding his bike. The story turned into Jimmy talking about how his friend Tommy gave him lollipops with something called cocaine in them and how Tommy invited him to a sleepover with girls. We love adding little surprises. Andrew is my best friend and playing games like this is one reason why.

So back to the baby business. About a year ago I realized I should be taking prenatal vitamins if I wanted to make a baby within the year. Andrew and I agreed that we would wait until Andrew was done with school. I didn't have a problem with that and except for the occasional baby hungry moments, we were happy to be focusing on just each other and our relationship. You need that time and should cherish it as much as possible before you start the baby flood. 

Last September after attending the temple with no specific question in mind, I received an undeniable prompting from the Holy Ghost that we should start trying to have a baby. I got into the car with Andrew afterwards and just started crying because last time we talked Andrew was kind of anti making a baby at that time, plus I was really overwhelmed by this new possibility. I told him what I felt and he totally reacted by saying that over the past couple months his mind had been softening to the idea of starting a family. After praying more and deciding together to go for it, I went off birth control.

Next was the nightmare of getting me health insurance which I had none of. Neither of our jobs give us benefits so we have had to do it the hard way and still are. I finally got setup after about a month and a half long process.

Back in December I realized that my body needed to be healthy, especially for the baby's sake. I have been eating better and exercising more and have seen great results. My Summer eating habits and work out plan were a good culmination in that journey. I actually did not document with a tape measurer how many inches I lost but my clothes were significantly looser on me. All of this was perfectly timed to me getting pregnant.

I became pregnant around July 1st.

Here are the happy parents on a date at the Little Red Lighthouse, unknowingly on the day we think was the day of conception.

Coincidentally enough, this was the first time we went to this spot and it turned out to be our favorite place to go and one of our favorite memories of New York.

4 weeks pregnant- This is a pretty great story. On our way home from Nauvoo we were driving a rental car to the airport. I had stopped to go to the bathroom an hour earlier and had to go again about 10 minutes before we got to the car rental place. I was driving and the urge was intense. We stopped at the gas station 200 feet away from Avis to fill up before we returned it. Usually I get Sudden Pee Syndrome (we gave a name to that urge to pee you get when you arrive at your front door) and I can hold it until I get to the bathroom. I stopped the car and told Andrew that this one was different. This time I could not move. I told Andrew to hand me the tiny plastic water bottle and contemplated trying to aim everything inside. I dropped that idea and just gave in. I peed all over the cloth driver's seat and my pants. I was so horrified. Afterwards I tried soaking it up with as many gas station paper towels as possible and then had to drive it right over to Avis. I got out of the car and simultaneously grabbed the paper towels I had been sitting on as the agent greeted me. He sat in the seat to gauge the mileage and eventually we were on our way. I was really terrified that he would say, "It smells like urine in here. Uh, could you explain that?" But he didn't. We got the charge a while later and there was not an extra "Had to clean up the gross pee that the pregnant lady flooded the driver's seat with" fee. I did not know I was pregnant at this time and I was really confused. Here is a picture of the seat...

5 1/2 Weeks- When my parents came to visit August 8th I had started to get nauseated. I decided this nausea was very unusual after the 5th day of it so I had Andrew and Dan go get pregnancy tests. Meredith was present as well and they recorded us checking the test to capture our wonderful reactions.

Afterwards, we took a picture of me holding the test on the bed. We loved staying in Jeff and Aurora's apartment in New York and now it is an even more special place to us..... hahaha.

Since then I have been nauseated everyday. It is usually the worst in the morning and evenings. That is perfect for my teaching schedule which is in the afternoons.

6 - 9 weeks- I got a cold that lasted 3 weeks. Apparently pregnant womens' immune systems are very weak because they don't want your body to turn on your baby and attack it or something. That plus nausea was misery. Those were also the weeks that we had to pack and prepare for our trip back to Utah, the one week I had to prepare for the new school year, and the first week of school. Those were the most stressful days of my whole Summer and I felt absolutely horrible. I made it somehow.

8 weeks and 5 days- We saw the doctor for our first appointment on August 31st. We saw the embryo move and that was super cool. Here is a picture of the ultrasound.

10 weeks- We called our parents by Skype to let them know. My parents are in Florida and Andrew's mom is in England. We were able to screen shot their reactions. Notice how the mothers did the same thing.

I am so grateful for Andrew who has been very patient and helpful when I just don't have the energy or feel sick. He also goes and buys toilet paper when I use ours all up because I pee once an hour during the day and get up 4-5 times a night. I could sleep forever and I prayed everyday that the nausea would go away. It is times like this that make me remember how blessed I am when I feel happy and healthy. I haven't worked out for about 2 months and I can't wait to feel good enough to be active again. Remember how Jillian Michaels whipped me into shape this Summer? Sad that I have pretty much lost  all of that. I was looking good.

Week 12- woke up feeling much less nauseated and life was more manageable. I still have to eat small snacks every so often.

Week 13- Went to the Doctor's office and heard the heartbeat. I had never heard anything like it. Babies are a miracle. Like any mother I was worried about this appointment because I knew that if the baby made it through to this point that my chance for miscarriage would be less than 1%. It was a huge relief to hear that rapid beating and a kick to the microphone. So overjoyed!

Here I am at 13 weeks. Not much of a bump. I'm just looking fat.

Right now, the only plan we have is for a natural birth using hypnobirthing, speaking French to our child and having this baby around April 7th. I feel like that is an awesome due date. It is one day after my due date when I was born and I was born March 30th. We are not scared at all for this crazy change and I am feeling surprisingly calm about the birthing process.

When I was getting married, I realized that the day I had been dreaming about was actually happening. I found my prince charming, and we were going to a beautiful castle to get married and to live happily ever after. It was a bit surreal. Now I am moving forward to that next stage that I always dreamed about; holding a precious baby just sent from heaven for us to take care of. I am so excited about the hard and rewarding changes that are coming our way. I love changes and trials because they shape me into a better person every time. I know that having children is that next step and if it changes me any way like marriage has in these short 3 years, I am going to be refined into a beautiful jewel through the most amazing experiences.

Back in Utah

We came home to many things we had not interacted with for months like our little Ugly Dolls that decorate our bed. Aww, tender.

Since we got back Andrew bought a new bag to replace his stolen one. He found this bag , canteen, and bullet holster or something from the Army Surplus Store.

Andrew and Meredith helped me decorate my classroom for school which started this past week.

We are living in Debbie's home but Debbie has gone off to Great Britain. Erin is living here and we are still in the basement. Erin decided to get an adorable puppy named Arrow. He is a miniature long haired silver dappled Daschund and he is very loved by the Becks. Andrew has been begging for a dog so this satiates his craving for now, even though it isn't ours. I am not an animal person but I support it because I know how happy it makes Andrew. One day we will have our own.

 Andrew also had to say goodbye to his sexy beard and longer hair. Saddest day of our lives.

Summer Jobs End and Back Home We Came

We headed home on August 18th after my last day of work.  We feel like we learned a lot about ourselves, our marriage, and how to be more like adults. We were also faced with new experiences and exciting opportunities that opened ourselves up to new discoveries. So after everything, we are really happy about our adventure in New York City!

These are some of the work that the students made, with our help.

Bouchra went on vacation halfway through and so I worked with Corinne, a lovely French woman who taught me a lot about how to teach and raise children the French way. I am actually very interested in taking principles from that and mixing them with our own philosophies. Here we are with the students on our Olympic parade day.

I wrote a little message on the playground of the school.

I'm really going to miss those cute kids. I learned a lot about children that are 3 and 4 and I learned a ton of specific French vocabulary for children that I am going to use for my own children.

Here I am waiting for the metro on our way to the airport.

Fare thee well New York City!

"Wicked" With The Parents

Momma, Dadda, Meredith and Dan spent time with us in the Big Apple. We went to dinner at a great Pizzeria and afterwards experienced the most magical, the most splendid, and the most unforgettable Broadway show. Yes, we saw Wicked! We were pretty out of our minds excited. My mother, Meredith, and I have been wanting to see this since it came out about 10 years ago. My friends and I pretty much sang it everyday in theater classes and through the halls of school and at every theater event we did.

Elpheba sings the most inspiring and moving song right before intermission called "Defying Gravity" and these are our crying faces afterwards.

We got a picture with Jackie Burns, the actress who plays Elpheba. It was so great to be able to express our gratitude for how much her performance touched us. She was very humble and appreciated hearing our feedback.

Saturday we went shopping at Uniqlo and helped my mother pick out a whole new wardrobe since she has lost so much weight. It was fun to help dress her and make her look all cute. 

Afterwards we headed on over to a local Harlem favorite called Sylvia's Soul Food Restaurant. We had some good eatin's which included Mac 'n Cheese, collard greens, chicken 'n waffles, mashed potatoes, cornbread, and banana pudding.

On our walk home we stopped by the historic Lenox Lounge so my parents could go inside and see what was happening. The set of Jazz music had just ended so our timing was bad. They enjoyed looking around though. Andrew caught a picture of us hanging out in front of it.

We thoroughly enjoyed showing our parents around our hood for the past 3 months. Before my parents arrived, we made it over to the World Trade Center memorial and tried to take in the significance of that place in the history of the United States. The memorial was beautiful and very peaceful.

We also hung out in Chinatown and ate at the Golden Unicorn Restaurant (we couldn't resist).

New York Wants Our Blood So Time To Get Outta Here.

The second to last week in NY Meredith came to visit us. It was so fun to have her there and share some of our experiences in the city with her.

One night we decided to eat at a cafe that was open to the sidewalk and streets. At one point Andrew's bag was set down under the table and after some miscommunication about who was watching it, the bag was left there alone for 2 minutes while I paid for the food 3 feet away. In that moment someone came by and swept up Andrew's nice leather bag which contained his Macbook Air and some sketchbooks. We didn't realize it had been taken until an hour later after we left to go to another store and came back.

Last time we were robbed, the police told us to install the Find my iPhone app so that we can locate our stolen mac products. We did that after talking to the robbery detectives the other month. We thought our chances of recovering it were golden since the police said they use it all the time to relocate things. We hurriedly locked the computer remotely only to read more carefully later that by doing that we ruined our chances of geo-locating it (thanks for the huge self destruct button warning, Apple!). After the Police were really pessimistic and told Andrew that they probably wouldn't find it, Andrew made a satirical illustration of a police officer. Notice his lovely water gun.

The next morning after trying to come to terms with losing a big piece of Andrew's life, the app located Andrew's computer here in Brooklyn:

The computer was connected to the internet during the night and geolocated itself before locking. After I got the exact location, I tried going all vigilante and checked out the building. It was in a ghetto neighborhood and the building location had 4 floors. After my calculation it could have been in either 3 or 6 different apartments (not bad, right?). The Macbook was possibly right behind these walls, and I couldn't do anything about it.

The police looked at video surveillance and got a shot of the guys face. They said it is really hard to get search warrants and they were going to circulate the guys picture around the precinct. It's a technique they use that's really effective for catching people 20 years down the road. Don't go to this precinct in NY (okay maybe just any precinct in NY) if you want to get help. They have bigger cases to deal with.

So after giving them a pretty specific location, a photo of the guy and a serial number of the laptop, going to the apartment building and talking to the landlord with a picture of the guy who probably lives there and even more specifically, in a certain area of the building, was probably going to take too much effort. We no longer have any confidence in the detective abilities of the NYPD. I bet that if the computer had been stolen in Provo then we would have gotten it back.

I should have gone up to one of the officers and asked for some of my tax money back. We realized that t.v. detective shows are so not real. They don't have the smarts or power to do half of the stuff you see on t.v. After having 3 separate instances of theft, we were really ready to get out of New York and go back to Provo, Utah where a parking ticket is the most action the police department gets on a good day.

More Discoveries

After getting back from Nauvoo we headed on over to Rockaway Beach for a bit of water fun. It had been two and a half years since we had gone swimming at the beach. Very sad. We enjoyed the sand and water between our toes. The beach was actually nice and it was an hour and a half ride on the metro so it was pretty convenient.

Sometimes we come across things that are freaky and unexplainable. This felt like a moment from Toy Story: The Live Action Version.

This is why the world needs Graphic Designers and Illustrators. Is that really supposed to be a foot?!

A friend from church invited us to view Dumb and Dumber on his rooftop. We had a lovely trivia game in the middle. It was so fun to sit on a rooftop in the middle of the city.

Andrew's work got chalkboard paint and Andrew went to town on the wall. 

Andrew finally got to play the big piano at FAO Schwartz

He also got a tour of the largest Masonic Temple in the U.S. It was interesting for him to see the similarities between Mormonism and Masonry.

I had a conversation with the chess players of Washington Square Park. I didn't find Bobby Fisher.

We were invited to dinner with our friends from the ward. They had 3 cute kids and we loved making friendships for when we come back some day. The Kelly family just had a beautiful baby girl with very dark hair. She could have been my own.

Found some rubble

The end

The Woman Who Made Me Who I Am

I was able to spend some time with my mother and father last week and I wanted to write my feelings about my mom.

Before all the festivities of Nauvoo got started, I wanted to take a picture with this beautiful, and let me tell you, AMAZING woman right here.

The Rodgers family is just a magnificent group of people and a lot of it is because of my mother, Marian Rodgers. She raised 6 children and all while my father went to medical school and such. She has been a great example to me of how to be a teacher. She takes every opportunity to share the gospel because she is not afraid to open her mouth and talk to people. She understands that she has a gift that other people do not have and she uses it to bring people to Christ. At the airport on her way there she met 2 unrelated people who want to meet with the missionaries because of her conversation with them. She has everyone else's best interest at heart. She sacrifices so much and gives so much not expecting anything in return. When you talk to her you feel her love for you. She has dedicated her life to her children. She has always cheered me on at everything I have ever done. She would do anything for me. I know that without a doubt.

Is she perfect? Of course not, but she has tried her hardest to be her best self despite the difficulties she has gone through in her life. I say this because my mother has gone through some very hard things in the last 4 years and she is finally on the upswing because of her innate strength and strength she finds in Christ. Living in Utah during this part of her life has kept me from being able to be with her as much as I would like and she has felt very alone during that time, especially since the rest of my siblings live far away too.

My mother lost her 18 year old son about 13 years ago and I cannot imagine what that was like for her as a mother. To add to that ongoing pain, she has had multiple health problems that have crippled her very energetic body and spirit. Not even a year ago we found out that she had Lyme Disease which has caused her to have painful neuropathy in her extremities and among other symptoms has restricted her cognitive functions and altered her personality. That had been going on for years previously. When Andrew and I were dating I started to notice that she was not conversing the same way and sometimes I would get off the phone and wonder what she was even saying. It scared me and I remember starting to fear that my Mom would die because of how sick she seemed, and we did not know the cause of it. I remember this because the same day I revealed my love for Andrew to Aurora and Summer Florence (this was before we started dating) I told them about how worried I was about my Mom.

All growing up my Mom would randomly be very sick and unable to do things for days. We finally found out a couple of years ago that she had a bowel/ intestine blockage that happened when she gave birth to my sister over 20 years ago. She had surgery for that and the doctors said that has been causing her that unexplainable sickness.

Right around that same time she had an ovarian cyst surgery and then a couple of months later had breast cancer which lead to a mastectomy. She dealt with all of these health problems while having the symptoms of Lyme Disease. That is not the end of her problems but those are just some of the surgeries she has had.

Over the past year she has had acupuncture to help with her neuropathy and has taken to a strict diet that includes whole foods and awesomely healthy stuff so that she can heal her body with food. I admire that discipline and it has changed her body. She has lost so much weight. Compare the picture from last week (above) to us on my wedding day during all of her sicknesses in 2009.

She has worked incredibly hard to get her cognitive functions back and she did it so quickly and well that she stunned her doctors. She is also cancer free after two years. I am telling you, she is incredible. I try to think about how I would have dealt with all of these trials and I cannot begin to imagine the pain, and all of the mental, emotional, and physical fatigue. This is also where I see the Lord's hand in her life to help her through this. That is a strength she cannot get from anybody else but him. He is the only one who completely understands her pains and sorrows because he suffered them through the beautiful act of the atonement.

I say she has been alone because she was hard to be around since her personality was altered. I am so sad to hear that she has not had everyone who loves her right next to her being her biggest fan, me included. I have not always been able to be next to her but I have always given her encouragement and listened to her during the hard times. I tried to understand her and told myself that even though she had been difficult to deal with because of the personality change and her high maintenance because of the sickness, that was not who she really was and that she would get through it.

Through these past years with my Mom I have truly been tested on how to have unconditional love. She has always shown me that and it was my turn to return it. I recognized that she needed support and it was not my place to judge her. We all make mistakes and we are sometimes subjected to the limits of our bodies. No matter what someone does I should forgive them and try to treat them lovingly. That has been hard for all of my immediate family to do because we are the closest to each other. I would say that that is where unconditional love and support can be challenged the most. I am not saying I have gone through this experience without becoming impatient since I am human. I would say that I became confused and sad that my relationship with my Mom was strained and it was harder to easily love her. I am so glad that through prayer and understanding given to me by the Spirit of God, my heart was softened and I was able to see my mother as the perfect being she could be. Today I have nothing but respect and love for this great woman who has given me so much. I am crying as I write this because I am thinking about how much she loves me. 

Nauvoo: City of Joseph

Andrew and I had an amazing opportunity to visit Nauvoo, Illinois last weekend. Nauvoo is a city that the Mormons built when Joseph Smith was the prophet. It is a beautiful and historic city on the Mississippi River. My family met up there for our annual family reunion because my sister meredith was able to perform the part of Becky Laird, a fiery Scottish gal, in the beautifully done Nauvoo Pageant. Wonderfully enough, Aurora and Jeff played Joseph and Emma!

We started off by taking a wagon ride around the town and saw many homes and shops that have been restored. I captured this shot of the Mississippi River which the early LDS members had to cross on their trek west. There are many American Lotus flowers along the shore in this picture.

We were then able to watch vignettes performed in special spots around the town. In front of the Smith home, Jeff and Aurora performed letters that had been written between Joseph and Emma during many hard separations forced upon them because of unjust imprisonment or work that had to be done elsewhere. It was a beautiful insight into their relationship.

Jeff also performed a discourse that Joseph gave at the funeral of a man named King Follett. It was in the same grove of trees that it was originally given. This was the first time Joseph revealed to the members what happens after death. It was beautifully touching and wonderful to try to think about what comfort this would have been had I been there and heard this doctrine for the first time.

Before every vignette the Nauvoo Bagpipe Band plays. There were many Scottish immigrants who came to Nauvoo at this time. I love the sound of bagpipes. Here is a picture of the band.

We also stopped by the brick making building and learned about the intense process of making one brick. Nauvoo clay is red so the brick is also that color. Every family got a brick in the end. This is a picture of the finished brick inside the clay brick mold.

We got together and did our tradition of writing my brother Chet a message and then putting them in balloons and letting them go in the sky. I am glad that we can always do something to remember him while we are together.

There is a lot of corn and soy bean out in the plains of Illinois so I had to get a shot of Andrew coming out of the corn field. 

We were able to attend the Nauvoo festivities before the pageant. They have a fair set up and you play lots of games they would have played in the 1840s or make crafts, dance, do puppets, etc. Meredith beat Dan in stick pull and the picture below is my evidence. Andrew hurt his back playing against Dan and is slightly still in pain. Crazy enough my mom beat me, my sister-in-law Candie, and Meredith who  are all very active and fit women. I have got to start eating what she eats.

We also got a picture with Meredith dressed up as Becky, looking so beautiful and happy.

Her experience doing this pageant has changed her. We love her so much. After Andrew, she is my favorite person in the entire world. You could then say that my favorite people are in this picture above (well except for that kid in the orange shirt. Don't know him.) I admire her talent and energy. I love her sense of humor and her strength in her service to the Lord. I feel like I have helped raise her and I have seen her go through every up and down. I have sometimes been too much of a mother and other times I have just held her as she cries. Life is hard and I am so happy to see her where she is right now and see her becoming who she wants to be. I am still trying to get to that point too. She is an INCREDIBLE human being and anyone who gets to be a part of her world comes away feeling loved and uplifted because she is honestly a window to God's love. I could talk about her forever...

The pageant is so well done and professional. It simply testifies of the amazing work that was done in this city and the impact it had on the church and its people. Afterwards the cast talks to everyone and encourages us to think of people that might want to receive a CD of the music from it. I was on fire and me and Andrew wrote some names down. I have honestly had such a great Summer where I have been more focused on missionary work. I love it!

We visited Carthage Jail where Joseph and his brother Hyrum were martyred. I was able to have a better understanding of the context of the death of Joseph Smith. I was reminded that he sealed his work with his blood. I loved hearing the quote by Josiah Quincy Jr., Mayor of Boston in 1845 that said, "It is by no means improbable that some future textbook... will contain a question something like this: What historical American of the nineteenth century has exerted the most powerful influence upon the destinies of his countrymen? And it is by no means impossible that the answer to that interrogatory may be thus written: Joseph Smith, the Mormon prophet." Being the man who was called to be the prophet who re-established Christ's church on this earth merits that kind of title.

Here is one of the cells he stayed in for a bit. He stayed in many others like this when he was unjustly imprisoned on many occasions.

We went into the room where the angry mob shot and killed him and his brother. Here is the original door with the bullet hole next to the lock and in the middle of the door.

This is a shot of the outside of the small building which was actually a home as well. The window at the top is the one that Joseph fell out of after being shot.

While in Nauvoo, my family was also able to do something very powerful and that was temple work for our ancestors. We were able to seal family as recent as my great grandmother. I believe we did over 30 sealings. My mother worked hard to organize this so we could have this beautiful experience. I know Andrew and I have done many names and ordinances in preparation since we have been here in Manhattan. It was unlike other temple work I have done because I was with my family and we were doing the eternal work for people who made it possible for us to be here.

My family in front of the temple - minus Joy and Quin's family

It is in these holy places where I can be the closest to God on earth and it is here where I can feel about myself the way God sees me.

Andrew and I took a picture together too

It was a fun and very spiritually inspiring and uplifting trip. I wish I could spend more time with my family. I love them dearly and I am so happy to know that I am sealed to them for eternity.