There Is Nothing To Fear, I Should Marry Him

Sunday, April 19- We ate dinner and went to a fireside with Debbie and her friend Milt. At the end of the night Andrew and I didn’t want to say goodnight. I told him that I might just have to marry him to fix my addiction to him. He told me that he belongs to me for as long as I want him to, and then a little more because he would keep chasing me. After he told me that I’m everything to him, I kinda wanted to cry because I realized that i’m in deep. We both blamed each other for making us fall in love with each other. We were just frustrated that soon we would be apart for a month and that we can’t express how we really feel about each other enough. Like there isn’t a way to say I love you so freakin much that it kinda hurts or just express that crazy amount of joy he brings me and how much I am so attracted to him. After we were finally able to say goodnight. I went back into my living room and cried because I love him so much and I’m so scared about what to do about it and what my future holds. I’m scared that God may have another person for me to marry and that he would tell me that I’d have to break up with Andrew some day. I’m also scared that since I have nothing to compare this to and neither of us has ever been in love with someone so much, that maybe I’m exaggerating my feelings that I have for him. I have been praying the last couple of weeks to know when I will need to get an answer or ask about marrying him. I felt like that was a good time because I was caught up in doubt but joy and I felt like I could honestly ask God and get an unbiased response. All of a sudden my fear turned into overwhelming joy in which I cried out of happiness. I was told that he possesses every important aspect and then more that I have been searching for in a husband so why go looking for something that I already have. I also felt that our love is the real deal and not everyone can find something like what we have. We are two amazing people who would cherish each other for eternity and could make a good marital relationship work. There is nothing to fear and I should marry him. I was blown away and I couldn’t stop crying because I kept saying out loud that I love him so much. I was grateful for such a clear response. I had never, before this semester, thought I would see myself in this situation and feeling such strong feelings for a guy. Whoever knew that giving your heart to someone and wanting them to know everything about you and thinking about each other constantly would actually happen to me. This is the biggest decision of my life and it is so scary but extremely wonderful.