Thursday, August 27th- Andrew flew home from Boston on Saturday. I was at Haleigh and Gavin's wedding reception at the Joseph Smith Memorial Building and picked him up from the airport. It was a joyous reunion. I don't know what has come over me but I am feeling so much attraction toward him and want to kiss him a lot more frequently. We have found that kissing since engaged has gotten noticeably more enjoyable. Can someone explain that please? We sat on a blanket in the park and caught up that night. We watched the Oquirrh Mountain temple dedication and spent time at Grandma and Daddo's. We looked at pictures of them in their younger years and also pictures of extended family. I wrote Haylee back. Monday we watched "A Goofy Movie" and "Hercules" at Debbie's. It was a great blast from the past. Andrew made me waffles. Sometimes we are so in sync or similar that I can't believe it. I believe that we become more similar and like each other the more time we spend together. If all I had in the world was the gospel and Andrew, I could be sublimely happy. And that's why family members are sealed together forever. How incredible! I had gotten promptings recently that I needed to decide on a venue that day. We went to the White Willow reception center and it worked perfectly well. We decided to put it on hold which meant that they would take down my name and call me if anyone else was interested. I received a voicemail an hour later while I was getting fitted for the dress alterations. It was White Willow saying that another bride wanted the same date and would do anything to get it. Luckily I had priority and called back to definitely say yes. Thank goodness I was prompted to go when I did. We went to look at man rings, get more lace for my dress and visit Meredith. We had an FHE with her about the meaning of life based on a short film called "Doggie Poo." Unfortunately it is not as intriguing or exciting as the title may suggest. We have put pictures together for our slideshow and stumbled upon so many cute ones. We had dinner with Aurora's family and they are very enjoyable people. Andrew read this great book called "Act of Marriage: The Beauty of Sexual Love" and he gave it to me to read. First of all, it is recommended that it be read and discussed right before marriage but we didn't want to have to read it during finals week and I want to know everything before I go see a doctor so that I can be prepared and comfortable. I loved it and it was so enlightening because it talks about every part of sex and gave me information that helped ease all the fear and confusion with the real, in depth, and rather intense details. It was written with a Christian perspective and so it explained how intimate and sacred sex is and therefore is to be only engaged in after marriage. Sex is a great indicator of how a marriage is going since it involves everything mental, emotional, and physical about a person. I loved learning about how sex really impacts a marriage and how your mentality is so important to it's success in your marriage. Andrew and I discussed all of the discussable things, for the time being, in the book (in a public place of course) and it was really fun to communicate and open up that part of our future. I think communicating about it now will make it so much easier to communicate about later. Sex is one of the most frequently argued about subjects in marriage so it is important to be comfortable discussing everything about it. After getting an idea of what role it plays in marriage and understanding that informing myself correctly and knowing what to expect are going to make it the most enjoyable, I am excited and convinced that it will be such an enjoyable thing for us the first time. I guess it is recommended that couples not read it until right before marriage because it gets you too excited and curious about it. We are just fine though and reading it now works perfectly for us. We are all about being prepared and studying up so that we can do things the right way in life. Now I have more aniticipation instead of fear or anxiety about it because I know a lot more about what to expect. Surprisingly, many women are not prepared or informed enough about sex and do not have an enjoyable first experience or even first couple of months, so I already have a one up and things should go well. Anyway, to sum up my feelings, I am attracted beyond measure to Andrew, engagement is sexually frustrating, sex is no longer a mystery, and I am engaged to the most perfect man for me. I love how love just keeps getting deeper. I am so excited to get married! I know that every engaged person thinks they are the most in love and the luckiest person alive, but really, we are exceptionally so in love and beyond words blessed and happy. What a godly insitution marriage is.
Thursday August 20th- I went on a trip to California with Debbie and the grandparents. What a unique experience to spend so much time with my future in-laws. I helped drive and ended up talking to the grandparents about how they met and their life. There were so many times when I saw what the role of a grandparent is since I have not seen too much of it or feel like I am that close to mine. I was able to talk to them about the gospel. Daddo started crying when he told me how proud he is of Andrew and that he would kkep Christ a part of the proposal. It just showed him how much the gospel means to Andrew. Grandma said that all of her grandchildren and their spouses are so wonderful that they are going to be translated. So many times they would tell me that they love me and say how happy I make them and how blessed they are to have me intheir lives. Daddo passed down an heirloom ring to his son and everyone treated them with so much respect. They are the eldest and are the matriarch and patriarch of the families. We drove to Camarillo where Summer's family lives. They had dinner every night that everyone was home and everyone was willing to help cook and cleanup. The coast is so gorgeous and I wouldn't mind maybe living there someday. Andrew was in Boston so we talked on the phone everyday. Talking on the phone forces me to tell him I love him verbally and say lots of sweet things. I want to always do that and make that a goal. Andrew asked me a little before he left if I would try to be kinder and more considerate of him. He needs to hear I love you. I recommitted myself to always treating him like a prince and tell him nice things whenever I think about it. I am too blessed to have him in my life to not let him know that daily. This was our last time of separation and it won't happen ever again for more than 24 hours. We can't handle it. I am so glad that Andrew feels like going on long business trips or being away from the family is not worth anything and would be so unenjoyable.
Wednesday, August 12th-I have been looking into changing my major to French Teaching and it looks like I will have about two more years of school. I will have to get a minor in teaching english as a second language. Andrew took his finals and was very overwhelmed by them. He needed to relax so I made him food and gave him a massage. After work we watched the sunset at his mom's condo, which she has now officiallly bought. He took me to Bridal Veil falls because I had never been there before. We sped there to the Batman theme song music written by Danny Elfman. We visited a possible reception venue and then saw the Mount Timpanogos temple up close and in person. It is so gorgeous. We went to lunch with Debra Lowe at CPK. It was enjoyable to get to know her better. She is really neat and goes out of her way for us.
Sunday August 2- Our weekend started with doing baptisms for the dead. As Andrew was baptizing me, I tried to slyly show some PDA in the font so I lightly stroked his hand with my left thumb. We felt like rebels and he chuckled a bit. Saturday we studied for his test and took a break by going to a pizzeria for lunch. We were just laughing left and right. That night we went to Lydia's wedding reception and all my close french house girls were there. There were ballroom performances and her father sang a gorgeous opera number. We danced to Quando, ate crepes and a cream puff wedding cake. It was such a party and an interactive celebration of their love. Lydia said that we were the next couple to get married so I had to catch the bouquet. In true Ashley fashion, I did. Andrew gave me lots of kisses and called me his hero. I asked him, with a sly smile, if I got anything else for catching the bouquet. We rushed over to Andrew's friend Rob's wedding and caught them right as they were leaving. There was a rushed Hey, Glad you could make it, We're leaving on our honeymoon right now, Bye. We knew what was on their mind. We visited some guys in our ward and then Andrew played gorgeous songs on the piano He started to make up a song with cute lyrics about how he really likes me in a silly voice and junior highish way. We watched Liken the Scriptures with Debbie and then went home. At the end of the night we were staring into each other's eyes and we both felt a connection of deeper love. I have felt love for him growing over the past months and it was so strong at that moment. We both just feel it without saying a word. He kissed me so slowly and tenderly and I almost cried because my love for him made me so happy inside. Sunday came around and I had an idea that this was the big day. Through accidental happenstance, I found out that he had the ring on him on Friday and wanted to propose soon. I dressed up really pretty and while we held hands in church, I kept thinking how there could be a ring on my left hand by tonight. After church Andrew went to put the final touches on his plan. He told me he had to go Home Teaching and I was a bit skeptical since it was the beginning of the month. We made dinner for Meredith and Ryan but they had a falling out right before hand so I opened the door to find Meredith holding the dessert and crying. She was glad that we were around to hold her, cheer her up, and give her advice. She needed to get home so we dropped her off and sped home. I could tell that Andrew wanted to do something before sunset. We drove over to Rock Canyon Park and started exploring the different groves and dry creek bed. We held each other as the wind blew on us and the sun was setting. He told me that he never imagined that true love would feel like this. We came across another grove and he told me to go in. I was hesitant because I have a fear of spider webs so I asked him to go first. Didn't work. I pushed my way past the tree branches and came upon a clearing in the middle of the grove. I looked to my left and saw framed pictures of us hung on the trees in a circular shape. In the middle of those pictures was a huge picture of Christ symbolizing Christ as the center of our relationship, so beautiful. I picked my favorite picture and Andrew knelt down and said "Ashley Elizabeth Rodgers, will you marry me?" I said "Yes with all my heart." He had a ring box in his hand but I didn't really even look at it. I hugged him and kissed him. He took out the ring, threw the box (which we later found in the dark) and proceeded to put it on my right hand which I corrected him on. I started to tear up a bit after I held him some more and said I love you. We sat on a blanket in the park and talked about all the secret stuff leading up to this mysterious proposal. At one point we were laying down and I embraced him as we rolled down the hill a ways. The ring is so gorgeous. It is so sparkly in the sunlight. He loves it so much and it is exactly the style I wanted. It is designed by Eddy Z, white gold, pave, 1.1 carat diamond, princess shape, set on point, I in color, SI (1) in clarity and it is such a beautiful gift from him. This ring means that he wants to spend everyday with me for the rest of our lives. After he asked me to marry him a couple of more times, I wanted to see the ring in the light. We went home and I called all the people close to me. Obviously family first and then friends. A lot of people knew why I was calling right when they picked up. Everyone was so excited and I am beside myself overjoyed. I'm so glad that it's official. We have to get the ring resized because it was a little too big. So amazing. I am the luckiest girl in the world. Oh happy day!! August 2, 2009 Ashley Rodgers and Andrew Beck are engaged. Now I can finally introduce him as my fiance. Yay!.jpg)
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Saturday, July 25- Thursday we took Hannah, Josiah, and Daniel to the Oquirrh Mountain temple open house and it was absolutely lovely. We broke down in Andrew's car and had to entertain the kids in the heat while we let it cool off. Mer slept over and Friday Andrew made pancakes, we watched The Spongebob Squarepants movie and went swimming. We are all way too funny together. That night we had dinner at the Bishop's house for Pioneer Day. Haylee was in town with her mom Jenn and little sister Brecken. It was so fun to see her again. Andrew is so good with kids and they think he is so funny. The bishop is incredible. He gardens, cooks, built his house, and has so many cool projects. We played outside on the trampoline, did barrell rolling races, and swung on the hammock. We roasted marshmellows and then watched a home fireworks show. Incredibly enjoyable. Don't worry, the barrel racing picture is taken at this wierd angle that makes it look like Andrew is winning but it is just an illusion.
Monday, July 13- For 4th of July Weekend we spent time with Andrew's family to watch the hot air balloons take off. All the kids were there and we had breakfast together afterwards. We all went to the Walter Wick exhbit at the MOA. He is an incredible photographer builder artist who makes mind boggling pictures and designs. We worked Stadium of Fire and we rode the elevator for 5 hours. Atleast we were together and had fun kissing when no one was on it. We saw the Jonas Brothers and fireworks. Sunday we went up to the mountains and then stopped at Debbie's to spend time with Jenny and the kids. We watched Liken the Scriptures and then Skyler called me and asked me to give a talk at her baptism. I was so thrilled and excited about that opportunity. It's times like that where a child loves me so much that makes me want children really badly. I can't wait to have a little me who looks up to me and thinks i'm the coolest person ever. I bought Andrew his own anointing oil and bottle for his keychain. We went to Costa Vida, yummy tres leches, to celebrate Andrew getting a job at the temple cafeteria and then watched a french film. Andrew studied hard for his french test and got an A!!! He is doing so well. We finally wrestled for chapstick since my foot is healed. He bought me a dozen red roses for no special reason other than to show me he loves me. They were gorgeous. We drove down to Saint George and it felt so comfortable to have Andrew around the family again. Mom and Dad missed me a lot and they really love Andrew. Mom was telling Quin about how she kisses Andrew and he calls her mama. Quin got really jealous and thought it unfair that she likes him so much and he isn't even part of the family. I believe he feels his title as favorite son in-law being slowly stripped away. The baptism was wonderful and Andrew accompanied Meredith and me as we sang "Our Savior's Love." Afterwards we went to Cracker Barrel and then hung out with Candie's family and watched UFC. We cooked dinner together with the kids the next day and took a walk with them. We love those children so much.
June 20th- I spent some time with girlfriends and we started talking about what married and dating people talk about. Ya know- Love, Sex, and Marriage. Some things that were said strongly impressed me to want to set stricter physical boundaries between me and Andrew. Keeping stricter rules will become a habit for us when it may get harder for us to be good or when it gets closer to being married. It was hard for me to bring up something like that which needed to be changed but it was really good for us to discuss amd I don't think it will be too hard, just an adjustment. The next day we had a very emotionally intimate day. We layed in the park and shared why we want to marry each other and how we want to give each other all we have and have each other be the most important person in our lives. We shared a lot of tender words about our feelings for each other and discussed what marrying each other really means. Andrew wondered if we will like each other in 30 years and still laugh at each other's jokes. He is so set on having an extremely emotionally connected marriage and has made me realize that I want that too. I don't think you will find two people who are more ready for marriage than us. I just admire his emotional wisdom and thoughts about protecting the vulnerable parts and weaknesses in each other when there are others who attack them. Always be each others advocate and support no matter what. Tell each other everything. Share the joys, sorrows, fears, doubts, accomplishments, desires, needs, wants, etc. Make a life together and support each other in achieving our goals. Become a team and always work together and respect one another. The world has enough people to bring us down. No matter what happens, at the end of the day you can lye in each others arms and know that there is atleast one person who will accept you no matter what and will do whatever is in their power to make you happy. Our love and marriage will be the one constant that we can rely on, besides the church and Jesus Christ. What we make of our lives together, the family we will build, will be one of the only things we will be able to take with us in the next life. There is no other man that I could possibly want to do the hardest things in life with besides the most incredible man, my best friend, and the person I love most in this world and who I give my heart to, Andrew Beck. We are going to be a powerful couple and I am so thrilled and excited about making eternal covenants and starting my life with him. Marriage is such an important, sacred, and rewarding bond that will bring so many learning opportunities and help me grow so much. A life without a marriage companion would be so lonely and unfullfilled to me. I could never imagine about only having to worry about myself and any selfish needs or wants for the rest of my life. Sacrifice and service are more challenging but will bring so much happiness. God does have a perfect plan and I cannot wait to make covenants in the temple to further my knowledge and move up to that stage where I am one step closer to exaltation. These are just some of my many feelings about my love for Andrew and my anticipation for marriage. I'm excited that my love for him will grow deeper through time and i'm so glad that God has told me to marry him. Our talks yesterday helped him feel more comfortable and convinced that he should go through with marriage. He isn't being reserved about marrying me, it's just that he really understands what marriage is going to be like and it takes some growing up and he had some mental adjustments to make. In all my life I would never imagined that love and marriage would be like this. I look back 4 months ago and see all the progress we have made and the learning I have done and I just know that together we can continue to be better and become more of a unit. I didn't truly understand it when the Lord told me that the love Andrew and I have is something that not everyone has, but I am convinced that our relationship is mature beyond its age and very healthy. We are committed to making a superb marriage and I want everyone to be able to experience our deep love. Then again, it's hard to find a man like Andrew, so unique and emotionally intelligent and aware. We shared some sensitive and personal information with each other. There was something that no one except for myself knows and I thought I would never be able to share it. I thought it would be the hardest thing to tell but I knew that Andrew would accept everything and love me still the same. I'm glad that he knows me better than anyone and wants to be that emotional support and guide for me. How did I ever get so lucky? My life is so uniquely blessed and few people experience the extremely wonderful things that I do and have. I want to do great things in this world and touch and improve peoples' lives. I pray that I will continue on that path toward greatness and leave fears behind. Fear is a tool of Satan and I cannot abandon the great plan God has for me to do his work and be a positive influence in this world. I have worries and weaknesses but they are no match for my divine power and strength found in Jesus Christ. He can deliver us from any fear and make me and Andrew a powerful force for good in this world.
We ate pizza with Erin, Mandy and Debbie and then sang while Erin played the piano beautiful. I enjoyed her and am excited to get to know her better. After I volunteered at the TRC with the french speaking missionaries. Again I was reminded after taking a discussion from the enthused sister missionaries that I would love to serve a mission. But nothing can take me away from marrying Andrew, so someday we will serve a couples mission and I can always do missionary work. Afterwards we attended the temple together since it had been a while. We learned how to index for family history and then we visited with my college roomate Hannah. She really likes us together and i'm so glad she was able to meet him. We performed in a variety show by singing Andrew's song "Believe." Andrew was part of a modesty panel with his roomates and it was fun to hear them talk about how modesty affects them. We are still discussing when we should get married. I want December but Andrew feels that is so soon. We'll see and most likely my opinion will win.
A month of separation will be good for us and we will have lots of time to reflect on ourselves and our future together without being fully emeshed in us. It only took a week for me to realize that I seriously hate being away from him. I'm over this. Andrew and I have been talking on the phone every night. Sometimes we talk for up to 5 hours and many nights we decide to go to bed because the phone runs out of batteries. It's an interesting way to have a relationship. We have a lot of time to really focus on talking about us instead of any physical affection getting in the way. The lack of physical affection is hard to endure. Once he stopped me in the middle of my comment and told me that he just really wanted to sit next to me and hold my hand. Adorable! I wrote him a 4 page letter about our relationship and wrote about the aspects of it that are needed for a strong marriage. It is his prized possession. He wrote a letter back to me and I cried because it was so so sweet and beautiful. We talk openly about marrying each other now that I have a perspective that he is definitely my future. We both told each other that we want to marry each other. We both got that joy that you get from the Holy Ghost. It was so amazing to hear those words from his lips. I wanted to cry. One night we did a scavenger hunt over the phone. We went around our neighborhoods and took pictures with different things like a flag, pool, flowers, soccer ball, stop sign, and other random funny things we might find. We then sent them to each other. It was a creative way for us to be on a date. Andrew photoshopped us together in the above image.
Sunday, April 19- We ate dinner and went to a fireside with Debbie and her friend Milt. At the end of the night Andrew and I didn’t want to say goodnight. I told him that I might just have to marry him to fix my addiction to him. He told me that he belongs to me for as long as I want him to, and then a little more because he would keep chasing me. After he told me that I’m everything to him, I kinda wanted to cry because I realized that i’m in deep. We both blamed each other for making us fall in love with each other. We were just frustrated that soon we would be apart for a month and that we can’t express how we really feel about each other enough. Like there isn’t a way to say I love you so freakin much that it kinda hurts or just express that crazy amount of joy he brings me and how much I am so attracted to him. After we were finally able to say goodnight. I went back into my living room and cried because I love him so much and I’m so scared about what to do about it and what my future holds. I’m scared that God may have another person for me to marry and that he would tell me that I’d have to break up with Andrew some day. I’m also scared that since I have nothing to compare this to and neither of us has ever been in love with someone so much, that maybe I’m exaggerating my feelings that I have for him. I have been praying the last couple of weeks to know when I will need to get an answer or ask about marrying him. I felt like that was a good time because I was caught up in doubt but joy and I felt like I could honestly ask God and get an unbiased response. All of a sudden my fear turned into overwhelming joy in which I cried out of happiness. I was told that he possesses every important aspect and then more that I have been searching for in a husband so why go looking for something that I already have. I also felt that our love is the real deal and not everyone can find something like what we have. We are two amazing people who would cherish each other for eternity and could make a good marital relationship work. There is nothing to fear and I should marry him. I was blown away and I couldn’t stop crying because I kept saying out loud that I love him so much. I was grateful for such a clear response. I had never, before this semester, thought I would see myself in this situation and feeling such strong feelings for a guy. Whoever knew that giving your heart to someone and wanting them to know everything about you and thinking about each other constantly would actually happen to me. This is the biggest decision of my life and it is so scary but extremely wonderful.
